☻eu vim pa zua's POSTAL 2 Achievement Progress

R. Kelly's Protege

Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.

Unlocked 21 Jan, 2015 @ 3:30pm

Duck Dynasty

Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.

Unlocked 21 Jan, 2015 @ 6:51pm

Here, Wilfred

Gained your first dog helper.

Unlocked 21 Jan, 2015 @ 4:40pm

Taxidermy with Chuck Testa

Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.

Unlocked 21 Jan, 2015 @ 6:14pm

Someone's got a case of the Mondays!

Survived Monday.

Unlocked 27 Jan, 2015 @ 7:13pm

C U Next Tuesday

Survived Tuesday.

Unlocked 20 Apr, 2015 @ 7:32pm

OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!

Survived Wednesday.

Unlocked 20 Apr, 2015 @ 7:32pm

It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays

Survived Thursday.

Unlocked 20 Apr, 2015 @ 7:32pm

Workin' for the Weekend

Survived Friday.

Unlocked 20 Apr, 2015 @ 7:32pm

Screw Bill Lumbergh!

Survived Saturday.

Unlocked 20 Apr, 2015 @ 7:32pm

I swear, I thought it was a home fill

Exploded a nuclear bomb.

Unlocked 20 Apr, 2015 @ 7:32pm

Cesar Millan is Very Happy

Mauled 30 people with your dog.

Unlocked 24 Jan, 2015 @ 2:30pm

OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale

Roasted 30 people with fire.

Unlocked 23 Jan, 2015 @ 7:09pm

Rebecca Black's Nightmare

Totaled 30 cars.

Unlocked 27 Jan, 2015 @ 6:15pm

Hello, Newman

Kicked 30 dogs.

Unlocked 21 Apr, 2015 @ 2:51pm

Darth Maul'd!

Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.

Unlocked 20 Apr, 2015 @ 7:32pm

Reddit would be proud.

Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.

Unlocked 20 Apr, 2015 @ 7:32pm

Pussy on a Pedestal

Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.

Unlocked 21 Apr, 2015 @ 2:52pm

I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace

Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.

Unlocked 20 Apr, 2015 @ 7:32pm

Do you even Enzyte, bro?

Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.

Unlocked 21 Jan, 2015 @ 3:55pm

Running With Scissors

Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.

Unlocked 22 Jan, 2015 @ 8:14am

Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!

Killed over 1,000 people.

Unlocked 27 Jan, 2015 @ 6:29pm

And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree

Killed all of the book protestors in the library.

Unlocked 20 Apr, 2015 @ 7:32pm

Lieberman is our Leader!

Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.

Unlocked 24 Jan, 2015 @ 3:07pm

Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.

Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.

Unlocked 22 Jan, 2015 @ 9:29am

Can't Touch This

Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.

Unlocked 20 Apr, 2015 @ 7:32pm

Fear and Loathing

Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.

Unlocked 8 Dec, 2019 @ 8:53pm

Señor Cornballer

Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.

Unlocked 23 Jan, 2015 @ 4:05pm

GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!

Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.

Unlocked 21 Jan, 2015 @ 2:48pm

Rick Grimes 4 Life

Made 30 zombies lose their heads.

Unlocked 8 Dec, 2019 @ 8:33pm

Planet of the Apes: The Musical

Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.

Unlocked 20 Apr, 2015 @ 7:32pm

Scientology Level: OT VIII

Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.

Unlocked 20 Apr, 2015 @ 7:32pm

Fur Sure!

Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.

Unlocked 27 Jan, 2015 @ 7:03pm

It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog

Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.

Unlocked 21 Jan, 2015 @ 4:40pm

Where's Mr. McGibblets?

Gave Krotchy the bad touch.

Unlocked 20 Apr, 2015 @ 7:32pm

Finkle IS Einhorn!

Gave a kickoff to a severed head.

Unlocked 21 Jan, 2015 @ 3:13pm

Anger Management With Roger Clemens

Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.

Unlocked 25 May, 2016 @ 5:22pm

Shiva Blast

"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.

Unlocked 21 Jan, 2015 @ 4:15pm

Don't taze me, bro!

Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.

Unlocked 23 Jan, 2015 @ 3:29pm

I Am Legend

Committed suicide... the Taliban way.

Unlocked 24 Jan, 2015 @ 3:05pm

Friend of Dorothy

Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.

Unlocked 21 Jan, 2015 @ 4:50pm

Officer McLovin'

Asked a police officer to sign your petition.

Unlocked 21 Apr, 2015 @ 3:10pm

Well, aren't YOU a badass

Kicked open a door.

Unlocked 21 Jan, 2015 @ 2:11pm

I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you

Put out someone that's on fire.

Unlocked 21 Jan, 2015 @ 2:59pm

It's sterile and I like the taste

Sucked down your own piss.

Unlocked 21 Jan, 2015 @ 6:07pm

I don't need virgins for this

Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.

Unlocked 24 Jan, 2015 @ 2:41pm

A-Rod Who?

Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.

Unlocked 18 Apr, 2015 @ 7:15pm

Door Mat

Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.

Unlocked 20 Apr, 2015 @ 7:32pm

Chuck Norris'd!

Killed someone with a flying jump kick.

Unlocked 21 Jan, 2015 @ 5:57pm

John Rambo'd!

Made a very long killing spree.

Unlocked 21 Apr, 2015 @ 2:39pm

Thanks for the money!

Finished all seven days.

Unlocked 20 Apr, 2015 @ 7:32pm

GABAGOOOOOL!

Reunited with an old friend.

Unlocked 20 May, 2016 @ 2:49pm

Holocaust: Part Deux

Reunited with an old enemy.

Unlocked 25 May, 2016 @ 4:48pm

Rain on your Wedding Day

Reunited with an old flame.

Unlocked 25 May, 2016 @ 7:41pm

Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad

Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.

Unlocked 2 Dec, 2019 @ 11:28pm

Better than POSTAL III

Rescued your loyal companion.

Unlocked 8 Dec, 2019 @ 10:38pm

Ape Gape

Escaped the Animal Control Center with all monkeys alive.

Unlocked 20 May, 2016 @ 11:22am

Ginger Mint

Killed Zack Ward.

Unlocked 25 May, 2016 @ 6:25pm

Ode to Eddings

Deactivated all of the Vend-A-Cure XJ-2 units.

Unlocked 25 May, 2016 @ 9:01pm

BioShocked

Spent $2000 on vending machines.

Unlocked 25 May, 2016 @ 8:35pm

Gettin DP'd

Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.

Unlocked 21 May, 2016 @ 9:25pm

RAFIBOMB!!!

Kicked 10 people in the balls.

Unlocked 25 May, 2016 @ 9:50pm

Chapelle's Show

Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.

Michonne ain't got nothin' on me

Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.

Uncle T-Bag

Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.

Anustart!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.

40 Year Old Virgin

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

CAN YOU DIG IT?!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)

I should buy a boat

Read the newspaper every day.

Paid the Piper

Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.

It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway

Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.

FAB-U-LOUS!

Wore all three outfits.

One time, at band camp...

Saved the marching band from explody death.

My Name is Jesus

Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.

Harder than r/gonewild

Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.

Adderall4All

Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

Rich on Reddit

Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.

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