Ultra's POSTAL 2 Achievement Progress

R. Kelly's Protege

Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.

Unlocked 23 Mar, 2014 @ 3:17am

Duck Dynasty

Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.

Unlocked 23 Mar, 2014 @ 5:59pm

Here, Wilfred

Gained your first dog helper.

Unlocked 17 Jul, 2014 @ 7:31pm

Taxidermy with Chuck Testa

Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.

Unlocked 23 Mar, 2014 @ 3:22am

Someone's got a case of the Mondays!

Survived Monday.

Unlocked 23 Mar, 2014 @ 3:43am

C U Next Tuesday

Survived Tuesday.

Unlocked 17 Jul, 2014 @ 7:31pm

OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!

Survived Wednesday.

Unlocked 23 Jan, 2015 @ 10:19pm

It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays

Survived Thursday.

Unlocked 24 Jan, 2015 @ 2:07am

Workin' for the Weekend

Survived Friday.

Unlocked 5 Oct, 2017 @ 11:16am

Screw Bill Lumbergh!

Survived Saturday.

Unlocked 7 Oct, 2017 @ 1:45am

I swear, I thought it was a home fill

Exploded a nuclear bomb.

Unlocked 7 Oct, 2017 @ 11:18pm

OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale

Roasted 30 people with fire.

Unlocked 24 Jan, 2015 @ 12:42am

Rebecca Black's Nightmare

Totaled 30 cars.

Unlocked 28 May, 2019 @ 1:26am

Darth Maul'd!

Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.

Unlocked 23 Jan, 2015 @ 10:34pm

I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace

Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.

Unlocked 23 Jan, 2015 @ 10:19pm

Do you even Enzyte, bro?

Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.

Unlocked 17 Jul, 2014 @ 7:31pm

Running With Scissors

Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.

Unlocked 6 May, 2020 @ 4:07am

Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!

Killed over 1,000 people.

Unlocked 24 Jan, 2015 @ 5:51am

And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree

Killed all of the book protestors in the library.

Unlocked 23 Mar, 2014 @ 5:19pm

Lieberman is our Leader!

Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.

Unlocked 25 Jun, 2016 @ 5:08am

Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.

Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.

Unlocked 28 Dec, 2014 @ 2:30am

Can't Touch This

Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.

Unlocked 6 Oct, 2017 @ 1:56am

GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!

Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.

Unlocked 23 Jan, 2015 @ 10:37pm

Rick Grimes 4 Life

Made 30 zombies lose their heads.

Unlocked 7 Oct, 2017 @ 3:25am

Planet of the Apes: The Musical

Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.

Unlocked 12 May, 2020 @ 2:46am

Fur Sure!

Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.

Unlocked 23 Mar, 2014 @ 3:25am

It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog

Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.

Unlocked 28 Dec, 2014 @ 2:30am

Where's Mr. McGibblets?

Gave Krotchy the bad touch.

Unlocked 23 Jan, 2015 @ 10:19pm

Finkle IS Einhorn!

Gave a kickoff to a severed head.

Unlocked 23 Mar, 2014 @ 3:15am

Anger Management With Roger Clemens

Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.

Unlocked 23 Jan, 2015 @ 12:07am

Shiva Blast

"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.

Unlocked 6 May, 2020 @ 5:23am

I Am Legend

Committed suicide... the Taliban way.

Unlocked 23 Jan, 2015 @ 10:19pm

Friend of Dorothy

Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.

Unlocked 23 Mar, 2014 @ 3:54am

Officer McLovin'

Asked a police officer to sign your petition.

Unlocked 23 Mar, 2014 @ 3:46am

Paid the Piper

Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.

Unlocked 5 May, 2020 @ 4:08am

Well, aren't YOU a badass

Kicked open a door.

Unlocked 23 Mar, 2014 @ 3:14am

I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you

Put out someone that's on fire.

Unlocked 23 Mar, 2014 @ 5:51pm

It's sterile and I like the taste

Sucked down your own piss.

Unlocked 23 Mar, 2014 @ 5:39pm

It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway

Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.

Unlocked 23 Mar, 2014 @ 3:52am

FAB-U-LOUS!

Wore all three outfits.

Unlocked 24 Jan, 2015 @ 12:32am

Door Mat

Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.

Unlocked 24 Jan, 2015 @ 2:07am

Chuck Norris'd!

Killed someone with a flying jump kick.

Unlocked 17 Jul, 2014 @ 7:31pm

There's always money in the banana stand

Found the secret bank exit on Monday.

Unlocked 21 Apr, 2022 @ 9:47pm

John Rambo'd!

Made a very long killing spree.

Unlocked 21 Apr, 2022 @ 10:02pm

Thanks for the money!

Finished all seven days.

Unlocked 7 Oct, 2017 @ 11:19pm

GABAGOOOOOL!

Reunited with an old friend.

Unlocked 6 Oct, 2017 @ 12:45am

Ape Gape

Escaped the Animal Control Center with all monkeys alive.

Unlocked 13 May, 2020 @ 3:20am

Dick Message

Wasted no time with the Wise Wang.

Unlocked 6 Oct, 2017 @ 12:41am

I'm not even supposed to be here today!

Waited 13 real world years to see an in-game Easter egg. Thanks for sticking with us!

Unlocked 5 Oct, 2017 @ 4:49am

Chapelle's Show

Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.

Michonne ain't got nothin' on me

Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.

Cesar Millan is Very Happy

Mauled 30 people with your dog.

1 / 30

Hello, Newman

Kicked 30 dogs.

6 / 30

Reddit would be proud.

Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.

Pussy on a Pedestal

Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.

5 / 10

Uncle T-Bag

Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.

Fear and Loathing

Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.

Señor Cornballer

Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.

23 / 30

Anustart!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.

40 Year Old Virgin

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

CAN YOU DIG IT?!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)

Scientology Level: OT VIII

Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.

Don't taze me, bro!

Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.

4 / 20

I should buy a boat

Read the newspaper every day.

I don't need virgins for this

Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.

A-Rod Who?

Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.

One time, at band camp...

Saved the marching band from explody death.

Holocaust: Part Deux

Reunited with an old enemy.

Rain on your Wedding Day

Reunited with an old flame.

Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad

Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.

Better than POSTAL III

Rescued your loyal companion.

My Name is Jesus

Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.

Harder than r/gonewild

Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.

Adderall4All

Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

Rich on Reddit

Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.

0 / 30

BioShocked

Spent $2000 on vending machines.

270 / 5,000

Gettin DP'd

Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.

8 / 30