All I knew was hunger. In the dark with my fellow deep ones, I waited. I could almost taste another world close to us, like a dream of forbidden pleasure but we were a nightmare waiting to be unleashed. Then a voice called to us, leading the way and a portal formed. There! Ahead was the world of light and wonder, where my brothers and I could finally feed! We swarmed through.

Truly, it was glorious. As my fangs gripped the sweet flesh of the creatures there, we knew no force in existence could stop us or send us back to the cold, dank place we had burst from, not caring at whose bidding we had been summoned. Great Cthulhu smiled upon us.

Then a light blazed and a terrible sound cut across the noise of our blessed feeding. One of the soft ones was casting death amongst us, using strange items. The carnage was terrible and, as one, we rushed to destroy this breaker of dreams no matter what the cost. Having found paradise, no fiend was going to deny us. Again and again we pursued him but he kept fleeing from our vengeance, raining destruction on us as he went.

I have seen my brothers fall to his weapons but I will not fail: I shall taste his flesh or perish trying.

Oh there once was a bard, such a handsome bard
Who could sing all night till the morning
And though I, his player, am a tub of lard,
He would never have ladies yawning.

He went on a quest, such a noble quest
With a band of fellow toilers
But this review unlike all the rest
Is not going to give you spoilers.

So what can we say about this handsome lad,
That won't ruin Baldur's for you?
We can say that he made his player glad,
So he gave it a thumbs-up review.