Hey kids! You're in the wrong place! Go get your parents.

Hey adults! Are you tired of games that leave you feeling minty fresh and care free? Well have I got a product for you! With just a two hour application of Mouthwashing, you can leave your days of optimistic outlooks and assuming the best in people behind!

You may be thinking "Surely this revolutionary product is only meant for snobby gamers who list 'decoding symbolism' as a hobby," but let me be the first to assure you that Mouthwashing is for everyone seeking to savor its sour taste of despair!

Poor at puzzles? Mouthwashing's puzzles are svelte and don't overstay their welcome. You'll be back to bristling at mind bending horrors in no time flat!

Suck at surviving? Mouthwashing's player murder metrics fall well below the leading brands. After all, why offer the sweet release of death after intense psychological scarring?

Jump scares got you jittery? Jitter no more with Mouthwashing's careful blend of mounting tension, unsettling foley and creeping realization that has the courtesy of letting you soak in its awfulness.

Don't delay! Acquire Mouthwashing today!*

Originally posted by *disclaimer*:

Side effects may include lack of trigger warnings, low value proposition on repeat playthroughs and fatigue from extensive walking. Mouthwashing is not for everyone. Consult the spoiler section below for additional trigger warnings before use.

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Breaking kayfabe to ensure that you know that this is a spoiler for the content in the game and is provided for those who might want trigger warnings for sensitive content. Only mouse over this text if that's what you want.

Contains content pertaining to sexual assault and how patriarchal power structures can make it difficult for women to step forward and seek justice in those situations.

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