I am not crazy! I know he swapped those numbers! I knew it was 1216. One after Magna Carta. As if I could ever make such a mistake. Never. Never! I just - I just couldn't prove it. He - he covered his tracks, he got that idiot at the copy shop to lie for him. You think this is something? You think this is bad? This? This chicanery? He's done worse. That billboard! Are you telling me that a man just happens to fall like that? No! He orchestrated it! Jimmy! He defecated through a sunroof! And I saved him! And I shouldn't have. I took him into my own firm! What was I thinking? He'll never change. He'll never change! Ever since he was 9, always the same! Couldn't keep his hands out of the cash drawer! But not our Jimmy! Couldn't be precious Jimmy! Stealing them blind! And he gets to be a lawyer!? What a sick joke! I should've stopped him when I had the chance! And you - you have to stop him!

⢀⣀⠤⠿⢤⢖⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⡔⢩⠂⠀⠒⠗⠈⠀⠉⠢⠄⣀⠠⠤⠄⠒⢖⡒⢒⠂⠤⢄⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠇⠤⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠀⠀⠈⠀⠈⠈⡨⢀⠡⡪⠢⡀⠀
⠈⠒⠀⠤⠤⣄⡆⡂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠢⠀⢕⠱⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢳⣐⡐⠐⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠀⠁⠇
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠑⢤⢁⠀⠆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⢰⠀⠀⠀⡀⢄⡜⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⡦⠄⡷⠢⠤⠤⠤⠤⢬⢈⡇⢠⣈⣰⠎⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣃⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢪⢀⣺⡅⢈⠆⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠶⡿⠤⠚⠁⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⡤⢺⣥⠟⢡⠃⠀⠀⠀

A̴͕͛C̶̤͝H̴̜̆T̷̯̎Ǘ̴̧N̸̨͊G̷͈̐
̸̘̌
̴̘̈A̴͙͐Ĉ̶͇H̵̱͆T̴̪͗Ṵ̶̉N̴͓̕G̸͜͝
̷̗́
̸̺̈D̵͕̏R̷̦̾E̸̖͘I̸̫͑ ̶̱͆N̴̝̆È̴̗U̵͕͐N̴̛̰Ẽ̷̫ ̵̼̓V̸̞̏Ȋ̸̜Ẹ̴͝R̵̩͗ ̵͙̾À̴̬C̵̟͐H̸̳͘Ṱ̸̇ ̵͖̏S̷̩̈́E̷̦̒C̸̮̋H̸̹̄S̴͓̀
̷̯̇
̶̺̐S̶̨̉Ė̴͔Ć̵̟H̴̹̓S̵̯̈́ ̷͚͗N̶̹̑Ű̸̱L̸͈̈́Ĺ̵̤ ̷̟͌E̴͍͋I̸͈̿N̵̼̉S̸̮̀ ̶̖̚S̴̲̚I̶̗̒Ë̵̼́B̵͍̿E̴̹̓N̸͘͜ ̸̲͐N̴͚̊U̴͍̓Ḷ̸͠L̴͚̒
̵̨̇
̴͚͌Z̸̠̈́W̶̡̏Ȅ̸̹I̵̩̿ ̷̜̐V̸͓̅I̵͔͗E̷͚͒R̶̢͌ ̸̢́Ḍ̵͌R̷̲̾Ẻ̷̫I̶̤̚ ̸̘̽Z̴͚̋Ẃ̶̢A̴͓̎Ị̴͠ ̶̙̀Ș̸̌E̸̩̔C̶̠̐S̷̰̍
̵͙̊
̴̣̚N̵̜̑U̶͗ͅL̴͉͆Ḻ̸̿ ̴̪̋Ě̷͎Î̷̞N̵͓͘S̸͓͋ ̸̲̕N̵̩̎U̴̎ͅL̸̩̏L̶͇͑ ̶͔͗S̴̞̑E̵̩̋C̸̱̊H̸͕̎S̶̥̕ ̷͈͗V̶̗̾Ĭ̸̤E̸̪̚R̶̋ͅ

Literally
George Orwell's Animal Farm

Bazinga

Our whole universe was in a hot, dense state
Then nearly fourteen billion years ago expansion started, wait
The earth began to cool, the autotrophs began to drool
Neanderthals developed tools
We built a wall (we built the pyramids)
Math, science, history, unraveling the mysteries
That all started with the big bang! Hey!