Sv. Prolivije
Uroš   Serbia
 
 
I'm a gamer,
Not because I don't have a wife;
But because I've never smelled one.
Not convinced by the moustache? Here are some reviews from happy customers
"Jesus, I'm glad I scrolled all this way down the feed... there were drugs stashed here!" — The Burning Crusader, Sep 15th, 2024 

"bro wrote a whole lord of the rings level review over a video game" — LemonIce, Dec 27, 2023

"Amazing writeup. I don't know what I am doing here, but I sure am glad I came here. :praisesun:" — Mirzor, Dec 13, 2023

"If you wrote a novel I would read it. I always enjoy your sense of humor! Thank you!" — FroBodine, Dec 2, 2023

"What a cringe review" — Rapterman, Nov 22, 2023

"If I die I want this man to write my obituary haha" ― Chips_A'Huy, Jul 7, 2023

"Sv. Prolivije you are too much of an individual, I don't think chat bots can fake you" ― American Dove Mitten, Mar 29, 2023

"This review is deranged and embarrassing, up there with starting a speech with "websters dictionary defines..." ― Crentin Dalbs, Mar 6, 2023

"Thanks for the review, you perv" ― MakoSipper, Feb 20, 2023

"Way to much to read" ― SeriousGaming, Oct 31, 2022

"You'll make a good geh" ― Preator, Oct 23, 2022

"Why would the CPU bend? Are you going to ♥♥♥♥ your computer?" ― Illuya, Sept 4, 2022

"Man wrote an entire essay" ― Ade Gav, Apr 5, 2022

"Deliver more reviews scrub" ― AviaRa, Dec 24, 2020
Featured Artwork Showcase
Best doggo
13 6
Screenshot Showcase
It's not gay if cheeks touch, but it is geh.
9 1
Review Showcase
Permission to leave Xbox, Phil.
For what purpose Master Chief?
To bring Halo back to the PC community!
...
Permission granted.

Finally, the highly praised Halo franchise has released some of its best entries on PC, neatly assembled in one juicy collection. As someone who grew up only listening to how Halo is great and Master Chief is a super-chad, after playing it, I can say, without a doubt, both statements are correct.

While the title does say The Master Chief Collection, we also get two spin-offs: ODST and Reach, with the latter being my personal favourite in terms of story. Many seem to dislike it because of how bland Noble Team is. Personally, that never bothered me. They never were the focal point of the story. It was always the planet itself, Reach. Noble Team is nothing more than a surrogate pair of eyes for us to witness humanities struggle against overwhelming odds first-hand and the horrors enacted by the Covenant upon the inhabitants of Reach. As for ODST, it was ok. It takes place during Halo 2, but nothing from its story was particularly memorable. Some quirky moments and funny dialogue, but nothing more than that.

Still, the title clearly says - The Master Chief Collection, so let's get back to his escapades. I may get some flak for this, but Halo: Combat Evolved has the worst story, if you can even call it that. There was barely anything. It felt more like a concept. Don't get me wrong, Halo 4 is right next to it, but I still consider Halo: Combat Evolved worse. But then...BAM! Halo 2. We get more lore about this universe, more epic cutscenes, more chad one-liners, and characters actually have some personality. And it is here that Master Chief actually became a chad, with subsequent entries continuing to expand the legend that is Sierra-117. So, even with a few blemishes, I immensely enjoyed this sci-fi space epic; From witnessing the glassing of Reach, helping a friend go out with a bang, to detonating a nuke above Earth like a true chad, there was never a lack of memorable moments.

https://gtm.steamproxy.vip/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=2676858881

But what about the gameplay?

Well, it's simply fantastic, and this much is true for every Halo game. Each entry improves upon its predecessor, refining the gameplay, but at the same time, staying true to that familiar gameplay loop set in stone by Halo: Combat Evolved. Personally, I have Halo 3 as my top pick. It's the culmination of Bungie's trilogy, and its greatness and epicness during gameplay are still unrivalled by any previous or subsequent Halo games.

But, where are my manners; I have yet to speak about the gunplay itself. So let's fix that, shall we - it's an FPS game where you shoot, throw grenades and drive vehicles. But the driving controls are unusual. Rather than driving, I dunno, like in 99.9% of games, with movement keys, Bungie said: "We don't do that here", and instead, your mouse is the steering wheel. Tricky at first, but once you get the hang of it, you'll be drifting on the surface of halo rings like the great Colin McRae.

Each new entry does try to up the ante, spicing up the gameplay, just ever so slightly. Halo 2 has Chief dual wield smaller weapons, which he seemingly forgot how to do in Halo 4 after his cryo-sleep. With Halo 3 came one-time use equipment; Useless overall, but they do look neat in the promotional CGI trailer. However, soon after, an unfathomable evil shook the very heavens, as long and fierce wars were waged over its place in the Halo-verse, with many brave souls lost in the process. Just speaking its name aloud invokes thousand years of bad luck upon your no scope 360 trick shots. I am, of course, talking about sprinting. This putrid thing first reared its ugly head in Halo: Reach, but only as an armour ability. It wasn't until Halo 4 that it finally infected Master Chief, becoming his innate ability. Truly a sad day for Halo fans all over the galaxy. But then again, he was often seen sprinting in cutscenes...

https://gtm.steamproxy.vip/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=2643717100

Sprinting polemics aside, I love how Halo effortlessly creates a heterogeneous battlefield. Encounters pit you against a group comprised of unique enemy units, each with different strengths, weaknesses and mannerisms. We have bird boys, smol boys, wort boys, bug boys, hairy boys, chunky boys, etc. And while headshots mean instant death, some enemy units must be first stripped bare; hairy boys have armour, wort boys have shields, etc. Do note - each protection is weaker against different ammo. For example, wort boy shields are strong against human bullets but weak to plasma-based weapons. But, I will let you in on a little secret - All enemies and shields are weak to rockets to the face.

While massacring half of the known universe is fun, sometimes we need to stop, take a breath and admire the scenery. And this is where Halo got me. Halo isn't like that hot chick who doesn't know she's hot. Halo knows and wants your gaze. So, while Halo: Combat Evolved has inner beauty and Halo 4 is entirely flat, the others were a succulent journey for the senses; From the Covenant and its many species, the mysterious biomes of the halo rings and the burning cities of Reach, all the way to Johnson and his clean-shaven chin that accentuates his magnificent moustache, the Halo universe is beaming with beauty to behold.

https://gtm.steamproxy.vip/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=2676656284

Yet, visual beauty can't work solo. Its age-old accomplice - music, plays a vital role in immersing the player within the games universe. Sadly, this is where a crucial issue occurred, as how does one rate perfection?
Also, Keith David...Mmmm, you can be my Arbiter any day ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°).

But, besides Keith David making my knees weak with his stern, thick and firm voice, sound effects in Halo play a crucial role in perceiving one's surroundings. Being informed about various things during the chaotic fights is paramount for success - possible grenade explosion, what weapons the enemy is firing, etc. All produce distinct sound effects, which in turn help you avoid and instead inflict death upon the enemy.

But before we say farewell, I want to make something clear - I didn't partake in multiplay shenanigans, as I don't care for it. Thus, I can't provide insight into that part of the collection. But if that is what interests you, I highly suggest you read the review from Zionyx.

And with that said, I think it's pretty clear how I feel about Halo. Thus, I'll finish by answering three quintessential questions any buyer may ponder about:

Where is Halo? -On Steam.
Who is Halo? -The big green dude.
Why is Halo? -Yes.

If you crave a specific entry, have no fear I got you:
Halo Reach
Halo CE
Halo 2
Halo ODST
Halo 3
Halo 4

If you enjoy this review, come and read more wisdom from the Gospel of Sv. Prolivije.
Artwork Showcase
After an arduous year, LASO has been conquered and the fight finished...for now
144 12 1
Featured Artwork Showcase
( ⚆ _ ⚆ ) That smile... That damned smile
40 2 3
Review Showcase
1.6 Hours played
Furry porn, a long schlong, and Ricardo Milos in a sexy thong

In light of the developers blessing me with this wonderful gift, I decided to employ a couple of different poem techniques for sharing my thoughts on Mister Furry.
Hope you enjoy it.

first unprompted curator email I got — a geh furry game it had to be.

Plenty of game modes,
hands busy — one drifts astray…
Cherry blossom popped.

Many stimulating 18+ artworks here on display,
But hard work is needed to unlock all the gay.
Space invaders or Furry Tron,
A bit of casual playtime before you can see all the furries drawn.
There is even a family-friendly option — blur mode,
To help you keep hold of your load.
And with my hands busy,
100%-ing the game wasn't easy.
But, in the end, it said "100% complete,"
And I give thanks to my skilful feet.
So, try Mister Furry — it's not that long.
Plus, you'll see where Ricardo Milos was hiding all along.


https://gtm.steamproxy.vip/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=2902633149

If you enjoy this review, come and read more wisdom from the Gospel of Sv. Prolivije.

https://gtm.steamproxy.vip/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=2902746882
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Yuri 21 Mar @ 6:48am 
ah Sv. Prolivije, i forgot to mention that i redesigned my personal website/blog, and if you can, how about leaving a comment or signature in my guestbook?
it would be awesome to have you there.

https://yuricunha.com/guestbook

"yuricunha.com" is my only domain, okay?
Yuri 21 Mar @ 4:10am 
yoo 💙
tess_erzsebet 18 Mar @ 3:44pm 
Happy Birthday! :cupcake:
Sv. Prolivije 18 Mar @ 3:15pm 
Thank you all :) I will do my best to annoy you one more year
:moustache:
robinrescues 18 Mar @ 3:14pm 
Happy Birthday! :CB1: :gin_gift:
❧ βʆɑck Ʀ๏şḕ ღ 18 Mar @ 1:07pm 
:ai_flare::ai_flare::ai_flare:
Happy Birthday Uroš
:big_cake::champaign::aballoon: