这种感觉也很像Pentiment这个游戏的设计思路！过往的历史不是一段孤立完整的历史，而是一群像我们一样有各自不同观点和体验的人活在“现在”！

我刚才突然间意识到有趣的灵魂玩一个烂游戏也让它看起来有趣，就也是一种存在主义啊！自为地选择了自己的存在，玩烂游戏骂它也是在创造！

最近我时常感觉，世界既是唯物的，也是唯心的。我们对事物有一些外部依赖的共识评价的标准，它就像卢梭的社会契约论一样，是人们在顺应生存时不约而同地每人让渡了一部分“自我”，去修建一个大家都相对来说可以“同意”并从中获利的框架。但又最终好与坏是否有分别都在一个人的内心里，人只能有自己的感受，并且自行选择了体验哪种东西是你的“现实”。如果人不起分别心（比如正经和不正经）主观意念上限制越小，就越有“自由”，因为干啥都会开心。

~国庆快乐~

哎哟Shader我跟你说啊！！你信不信我居然玩Pentiment到现在！玩到那个第三章爬教堂爬完那！才发现这游戏是有journal的！！！！！！！！地图和人物关系都在那！我现在回想起来我成天骂它的交互，骂它没地图和journal，我觉得我像个弱智

我居然打到现在，完全靠自己纯硬打，自己认路，脑内绘制地图！猜测每个时间要干啥，去哪找谁！完全自己探索！记每个人的名字和脸！！从字里行间知道他们的关系！！没想到这些都在Journal里有的！！！！！！！而我居然还在天天骂它交互没做这些！我是弱智（）于是我就当多玩了50块钱的真沉浸式角色扮演体验了，毕竟三次元不像游戏里有菜单告诉你在做什么，起点比别人艰难，最终游戏体验也比别人深刻，我怎么不算是真的在玩RPG呢！！！！！啊啊啊啊啊啊我真是弱智！！！！！！！

我知道有些拉美国家还是很Catholic的那种Catholic国，整个就很Top-down可能确实差不多

I like leaving English comments now! It's a good way to practice my English writting skill

Thx Shader！Wish one day my girlfriend and I can jump out of the conservative and negative circumstance. Share my happiness to Shader! Enjoy games! Enjoy your life!

My friends and I might be able to use both Ins and Wechat, but what if our seminar includes people from other countries? We assume everyone just use google drive and slides when I was in UK and US. There are just too many Chinese students here, sometimes it feels like everyone else came to Japan for “reverse studying abroad.” Chinese people always end up playing on their own server, even when they go abroad, they bring the China server with them. So tbh, I don’t think it’s unreasonable that Chinese people aren’t very welcome overseas, if you are more related to Japan then people welcome you, not China. Even we sometimes get annoyed with our own folks.

In a way, I feel like there are too many Chinese people in Japan. Among the major developed countries that attract international students, Japan has an overwhelmingly high proportion of students from China and neighboring Southeast Asian countries. This has become a distinctive feature of Japan’s “internationalization” in higher education. It was actually the topic of the very first independent research project I ever completed! I still look back on it fondly, since that path eventually led me step by step toward my favorite field, game studies!

But that experience also gave me a pretty clear understanding of Japan’s foreign population.
If I had to give advice to friends or relatives who aren’t very good at foreign languages, I’d tell them to move to Japan. Yet from another perspective, I also think that’s quite hegemonic.

No one can insure workers' security. They went to work in the storm, in the pouring rain with no extra wage. But Huawei takes everything for granted. I still remember that Huawei boast itself as the honor of China. Actually it is a cold and disgusting corporate which human rights are ignored and denied

Does Shader know what Huawei has done for its employees when the hurricane came? The government has published the notice that all the works should be suspended during the hurricane days but Huawei still impose their employees to work. With Huawei's privilege, the road once was closed has to open for Huawei and the traffic system started to run only for Huawei

Once the Wechat was used for sharing life but now it is becoming a tool for capitalists to abolish their employees. It sounds miserable that in China work-life-balance is untouchable

This blurring of personal boundaries and life is a uniquely modern Chinese style that simply isn’t normal abroad. If a Chinese person moves overseas but insists on living like that, then why even leave your homeland? Tbh I think many Chinese men feel that the outside world is “too politically correct” for them, so they retreat back into the comfort of their walled-off online communities. lol

For me I think people who have lived abroad for years but still mainly rely on mainland Chinese social media and communities either can’t adapt locally, or have ulterior motives. Once you actually live overseas, you realize that having an entire country where everyone is forced to use one single SNS is not normal.

The fact that in China, “every parent must join the school WeChat group,” or “everyone at work must be available on WeChat,” is totally sxxt. It’s like letting an app hijack your whole life, Scan the QR code for everything. But why? Why should I need to use it and join a group? Why should every social sphere demand a separate group outside of the actual space we’re already in?

Thank you so much! Your words are always so kind and warm.

I think The Sims is ultimately just a platform, there’s still no other game that can replace it. After playing many indie games this year, I’ve come to realize that while everyone knows big studios are terrible, they still have an accumulation of capital that indie developers simply can’t match. Even a dying camel is bigger than a horse. Major companies have established systems and experience that help them avoid many pitfalls, while indie developers have to stumble through them firsthand.

Over all these years, The Sims has had no rival of equal scale and quality that could replace it in a short time, which is why EA dominates the field. But its true wealth lies in the creativity of its players always. Maybe in the long run players will migrate toward something new that can finally replace it.

Most Sims players probably know that EA’s biggest cash cow, and likely the one that caught the attention of those oil tycoons, is EA Sports. But when you see the buyers are the Saudi prince and Trump’s son-in-law, anyone who values inclusivity will immediately hear the death knell ringing. I honestly don’t know what will happen to The Sims from here. It’s a game I’ve played for so many years, the one that carries my entire OC universe and all my creative energy. EA can be trash and ♥♥♥♥♥♥, but I despise the resurgence of every conservative force in modern society. I’m starting to think that, even if EA keeps releasing the worst DLC imaginable, I was always the player who’s always gone all-in no matter what, now maybe someday I truly refuse to give them a single cent.

Of course I often get inspiration from this kind of thing in my research or essay, because you start to notice how the Chinese gaming community, when playing globally influential games, tends to interpret them in a way that’s completely self-contained, as if they’ve built their own separate world.

Then again, when I think about it, isn’t Earth Online already like that? The Simplified-Chinese internet community isolates itself from the rest of the world, and wall-building has practically become a traditional art form. And not just the Wall we always talk about, I feel like the overall online atmosphere now is that of countless individuals each building their own little wall.

EA has been acquired by Saudi Arabia, and the entire international simmer community is wailing in despair, people can already hear the death knell and see the guillotine coming, everyone absolutely hates EA for selling itself. Private equity means execution.

Meanwhile some of Chinese crowd are still saying things like, “Oh maybe this will finally fix DEI and feminism!” … Well all I can say is, this is exactly the kind of narrow-mindedness and lack of vision that defines the average Chinese male, completely deranged.

第三章城镇公地那三个小男生好讨厌哦！！！字里行间都是男的对有钱又有知识的女性的那种酸，真是太阳底下没有新鲜事拳头硬了！我决定把他们干死！虽然这样好像又回到跟我第一章时坚定要干死Ferenc一样了！！！但是我不管将来后不后悔！我前两章指认犯人所有的圆则都是不指认女的！！！

我就是呀！！就是冲进火海！会有别的分支吗23333

接踵而至的就是贴上，龙之信条2的开场曲嘞，我还蛮喜欢这抑扬顿挫的。。。鼓点？

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i6bZgWNIO9A&list=RDi6bZgWNIO9A&start_radio=1

顺带一提，整理截图的时候，我把很漂亮的烤肉发给歹熊，但熊居然表示，不爱大块肉，喜欢啃骨头

每当Ti之后我的DOTA2之心就冻结嘞，直到第二年三月份左右才会复苏←这是冰块

打开龙之信条看看我的存档在哪，映入眼帘的就是！ Compiling shaders！！

啊啊啊啊Shader我打完Pentiment第二章了啊啊啊啊啊！！！感觉真是艺术和书籍和文字是在无法改变什么的时代里，用最后的意志记录人性与信仰的痕迹！！！啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊！！！艺术来源于死亡！！！

你好

蹭蹭shader

Shader国庆节快乐！虽然人现在在加拿大

啊啊啊啊啊开心！！谢谢Shader送我蜘蛛侠！！这个是我以前在PS上玩的游戏！但是我就是很强迫症想把游戏都弄上一个平台，哎话说游戏的平台转移成本也是我身边有同学的研究课题呢！DQB2也是，DOS2和老滚还有大表哥给他爱啥的都是，LIS啊，AC啊，我都是先玩的PS4后来才有的Steam！这个蜘蛛侠就是当时跟进巨那个立体机动装置一样，我就贼喜欢！喜欢荡来荡去！！！因为我从小就爱荡秋千！！是一直想补上Steam还没补的游戏了！！开心！！确实是我喜欢的！！

那么Lightshader是不是光之着色器（bushi）

我发现原来着色器就是Shader，所以我玩HPL的时候界面会一直提示：

Preparing Shaders！

你好

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HIeYeS_HAHA&list=RDHIeYeS_HAHA&start_radio=1

Rhapsody on a Theme of Paganini of Rachmaninoff!

于是最近我就是写了一个用于解构霸总文学的霸总文学！这个霸总和他的老婆就好像是我的性格内核与我外在看起来的样子。这个霸总也不擅长语言，但是靠着他那一堆霸总体系的语言把他老婆得罪了！所以我让他拉这首曲子来给老婆道歉。

但我脑子里是先想到了这首曲子，而根据我的设定这个霸总拉大提琴的（为什么？因为从美学上来讲小提琴对于一个很高的男的来说不是太小了吗？我就是这么喜欢配Balance的人！！）然后我的理性开始上线，去求证有人拿大提琴拉这首曲子吗？发现是有的！还是Hauser拉的！并且感觉这是一个Shader会喜欢的曲子，于是Share给你，哦耶！！

诶我很少听不是这个语言的配音，除非就是为了整活的！比如说Desperado的中配就很好玩，“你咋不上天呢！！”还有巫师3的中配也蛮好玩2333

出去旅游带个正经书看好比喻，我真的认识有这种人诶（）

偶尔我觉得作为一个铁Ni功能使用者我可能直觉过于敏锐，感情又过于单薄，能感觉到完全地先于能被语言和理性描述出来的冰山下庞大的东西。我有的时候就是doesn't feel right，就是啥都烦，语言越是去描述和列标准我就越烦。所以可能我喜欢艺术，而且我会把这种感觉去投射给我写小说的角色。我觉得我在创作时往往脑子像电影，是个整体，一次性产生出来的空间，打光，站位，甚至音乐和颜色都会适当地插入，理性分析总是后置产生的。

还有我总觉得语言的本质就是隐喻，食色性也是跨文化的人类共通集体潜意识，所以我就平时写的那些pun和metaphor啊，比如什么stand啊，wand啊，find his way啊，Aguamenti，魔杖对决，大剑小花，倒牛奶，核心啥的，我都是直接在脑子里想的！然后说成英语就发现英语母语的人也是秒懂的，AI也是懂的！但GTA里的很多脏话就是很依赖于其语言本身的，很slang，当然我思想品德都是跟GTA学的，看到哪个外国人不爽我就开始这么讲

GTAV里有个Lamar对Franklin说的那串发言，有一句我就觉得哎哟我去这个表达我太喜欢了！！就是让你get some bxxches on your dxxk，我就觉得这句话好地道的英语啊，还超级形象！而且是你翻成中文只能意译的，但是英语就直接包含了动作和部位，但它表达的却是那个整体的意译，就觉得贼喜欢23333

我也喜欢用生肉体验我十分喜欢的游戏。日本游戏在我这里没有这种待遇，鬼才要读片假名啊！！！ DOS2和Skyrim都是我沉浸式用原文体验的游戏。DOS2很明显来自英语，但是Skyrim实在太不像英语了。它有大量的自造词，最开始我根本记不住，直到我学了德语和挪威语之后，才感觉它们如此清晰又简单。 而且我觉得用生肉玩游戏能看出游戏公司的文本水平，比如GTA和大表哥就明显来自说英语的国家，而刺客信条的英语就是大学六级的水平了吧Pentiment就一定是建立在德语上的游戏，尽管它的官方语言是英语！

因为我就是从elpis到hope的翻译里想到了很多古希腊神话在英语版本下的语言，我发现和古希腊语完全不同，但是中文反而和它们的发音更接近。我就小时候也老想为啥希腊是Greece，德国是Germany，日本是Japan。然而学了这几个国家的语言以后我就发现中文的名字就是它们各自在自己文化里的样子，英语倒反而是历史上历经了殖民之后外来的叫法。我就喜欢这种允许你原初的存在的样子的感觉！就觉得要多学语言才会有！

刚刚列表动态有好友问潘多拉魔盒这个神话原初版本的origin，我现场获得灵感马上运用开始即兴发挥，就是学习速度这么快哦耶！！！

我正在用我正经灼热的大段文字狠狠填满歹熊的小留言板，这是歹熊亲手开启的潘多拉魔盒！！！！

相信我，风色幻想一点也不要脑子

I posted a harp playing a song in Skyrim, stupid G flat!

https://youtu.be/IktUO4FzFE0?si=wGjEMABo3s86SWOc

It was this song, I should say I think the video is good but I don’t feel ear catching for the music because I can’t get its tune and melody, it feels like atonal music🤣But I guess that’s the vibe of contemporary arts!

https://youtu.be/opeETnB8m8w?si=NW00gOq9biCG8zMU

I like it when you talk about this sentence! There are just way too many a parent is not a parent I think. My folder is always called as 233, 2333, 23333, 233333 btw. You ask me can I even remember which is what? Well, then mine is a folder is not a folder, lol.

So for Lady Teddy Bear, it should be “Serious is not serious”

我敲一进来又看到河豚在抢楼！You gimme liangwankuaiqian too

1300我的啦！！Shader进入14世纪啦！！！

我就是来灌水的！

Tell you something funny! Yesterday Hypnos shared a song with me. The band is Cage The Elephant, which I think is a pretty cool name!

Here’s how I described my impression of the song to Hypnos:

“This song reminds me of Ziwei’s ‘Shanshui Tiaotiao’ and of Schoenberg!”

There’s a lyric in Shanshui Tiaotiao that goes, “A song that’s not a song, a tune that’s not a tune.” When I watched My Fair Princess as a kid, that line left a deep impression on me, because Ziwei’s earlier songs in the show actually sounded good, but when she sang that sentence, it really did sound like “a song that’s not a song, a tune that’s not a tune” in its melody! lol.

As for Schoenberg, anyone who knows a bit of classical music knows he’s the father of atonal music. LMAOOOO. That’s exactly the metaphor I used for that song!

请通过邀请^ ^

那我来发个老滚5里人气超高的曲子！！这个原曲就是钢琴，发个竖琴23333

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IktUO4FzFE0

哈哈哈我也盯着那个音游看呆了！