Think about if you were like havin' a.. Surprise party; And you just walked into your house and already knew what was gonna happen! THAT'S NOT EXCITING! THERE'S NO SURPRISE ANYMORE! That's what it is; Random crits are the surprise parties of tf2 matches! YOU CAN'T TAKE THAT AWAY FROM THE peOples, YOU'RE TAKING AWAY BIRTHDAY PARTIES! WHY DO YOU HATE BIRTHDAY PARTIES?? Competitive mode, that's where you should be anyways; You wanna be an all-star? Competitive move baby that's where you play. That's why im playing! Gotta be competitive. What about random bullet spread? We got daat! The bullets go wherever the hell they want, you can't control bullets; YOu think you can tell bullets what to do? I think what we have been able to figure out in this conversation here with the imaginary ankle's.. He doesn't like birthdays, it turns out that ankle dane HATES birthdays. And he hates birthday parties. Hey he's the kind of guy who would come to your birthday party and throw it on the ground like that video; Like that video, like that one video on the movie where the guy is singing the song about throwing the stuff on the ground? THAT'S actually about uncle dane when he com- when he came to your birthday party. Das what he's gon do, hE's gonna DESTROY THAT CAKE. And no one is gonna get to eat it unless they eat it off the floor but the five second rule only lasts 5 seconds; What'are you gonna do get on the floor with a fork and try to eat the birthday cake really fast bef- after the 5 seconds? You're not gonna be able to do it. You're not gonna be able to eat the entire cake before it goes bad, so da- that ain't gonna work. So uncle dane thinks critical strikes are trash, and he also thinks YOU'RE TRASH; He said "tell everybody" who plays team fortress 2 and isn't me is trash.

What do you think people did.. Before.. Ladders
Was it just like, well.. I can't fix that sh-
Sh-
[Laughter]
They just throw a couple of rocks and then..
Yeah man but you gotta like keep finding rocks
A couple rocks yeah
Or you like had to hold people up like man uashg they gotta
Then you're just like f- this sh-
That sh- just gonna stay broken
Yeah that just gonna be broken
"If only there was an invention"
If only there was an invention that would allow mt-
To get up on allow me to that place safely das not..
Till one day thomas ladder came along
Thomas ladder said..
And like he's saying "I got an idae"
I got an idea for yall f- n-
[Laughter]