Recent reviews by RatsOfficial

rather f♥ck a tort with a pyort

Red Dead Redemption is the sequel to its sequel Red Dead Redemption 2, a sequel to the game Red Dead Redemption, which takes place after its sequel Red Dead Redemption 2.

Plot: With revolver (not Red Dead Revolver, the original Red Dead video game which is not canon to Red Dead Redemption 2 or its sequel Red Dead Redemption) in hand, John Marston must find the seven holy boons required to cure Uncle (not his uncle, but rather the man named Uncle from Red Dead Redemption 2, the prequel sequel to the prequel's sequel Red Dead Redemption) of his chronic back pain (lumbago, from Red Dead Redemption 2). On his quest he must make friends with unlikely allies (none of which are characters from the sequel, Red Dead Redemption 2 because Red Dead Redemption 2 despite coming first in the timeline is actually a sequel to Red Dead Redemption and thus had not been written at the time that Red Dead Redemption had released), such as Bonnie McFarlane (From Red Dead Redemption 2 Online), Irish (From Red Dead Redemption 2 Online), and Fyr the Frost Beast (From Red Dead Retribution: Siege of Fort Zancudo).

Gameplay: The gameplay of Red Dead Redemption is like the gameplay of Red Dead Redemption 2, the second game in the Red Dead franchise if you ignore the other one that nobody cares about cause it sucks. The gameplay feels extremely shallow during the first few missions, but once Gibby (the talking gerbal from Red Dead Revangelion) shows you how to convert XP into soul power, the game really starts to pick up.

Overall: Red Dead Redemption is a confusing sequel. I don't understand why you would make a sequel to the game Red Dead Redemption 2, and cut half the characters. Why is Arthur not in this? Did they forget to add the main guy?? Now some people may say that Rocksteady is a small indie game studio that couldn't afford to pay Chris Pratt to reprise his role, which okay I can understand. However, couldn't they have atleast mentioned him? Maybe Chris Pratt pissed off the studio like Ray Liotta did so they just wanted to pretend like Arthur never existed. That aside, Red Dead Revolver is one of the best games ever made, great performances, great characters, engaging combat, a great soundtrack, there's a scene where Irish grabs a horse by the balls, 10/10.

I have it on good authority that after Grand Theft Auto VI, Rocks-Tart will make Red Dead Redemption 3, the sequel prequel to the prequel's sequel's prequel to the prequels' sequel spin off that started the franchise other than the original which has no prequel or sequel except maybe its canon and therefore not a spin off (?), in which case it would be the prequel's prequel's prequel and prequel's sequel's prequel making Red Dead Redemption the sequel, the prequel's sequel, and the prequel's prequel's sequel, Red Dead Redemption 2 would then be the prequel's prequel-sequel to the prequel's sequel's sequel while also being the prequel's sequel's prequel, and Red Dead Redemption 3 the prequel's sequel/prequel's prequel-sequel sequel to the original's sequel's prequel.

And that's if you don't even consider the mobile card game.

This game makes Russian roulette with a chainsaw look like a contender for Game of the Year.

♥♥♥♥ you Reggie, go back to making Donkey Kong.

09/11/2001

0 Days Before The Crash

"Measure twice.
Cut once."

-Sun Tzu, Art of Circumcision

Roid raging american kills hundreds of africans

Was wearing my tightiest whities when i played this.
:(

There's not really anything offensively bad about Revelations, its just painfully mediocre.

The real revelation was when I realized that Chris is the only remotely entertaining character in this game.

"Hold up!! His Revelations 2 is this FIRE???"

not gay but if leon was i probably would be too