~Willow~#FIXTF2's POSTAL 2 Achievement Progress

R. Kelly's Protege

Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.

Unlocked 6 Apr @ 1:35pm

Duck Dynasty

Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.

Unlocked 7 Apr @ 4:39am

Here, Wilfred

Gained your first dog helper.

Unlocked 25 Apr @ 8:43am

Taxidermy with Chuck Testa

Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.

Unlocked 6 Apr @ 2:34pm

Someone's got a case of the Mondays!

Survived Monday.

Unlocked 6 Apr @ 2:48pm

C U Next Tuesday

Survived Tuesday.

Unlocked 7 Apr @ 5:13am

OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!

Survived Wednesday.

Unlocked 7 Apr @ 6:38am

It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays

Survived Thursday.

Unlocked 7 Apr @ 5:21pm

Workin' for the Weekend

Survived Friday.

Unlocked 8 Apr @ 11:23am

Screw Bill Lumbergh!

Survived Saturday.

Unlocked 9 Apr @ 3:58am

I swear, I thought it was a home fill

Exploded a nuclear bomb.

Unlocked 25 Apr @ 9:03am

OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale

Roasted 30 people with fire.

Unlocked 7 Apr @ 5:10am

Rebecca Black's Nightmare

Totaled 30 cars.

Unlocked 8 Apr @ 5:18pm

Darth Maul'd!

Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.

Unlocked 29 Apr @ 9:17am

I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace

Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.

Unlocked 3 Sep @ 3:46am

Do you even Enzyte, bro?

Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.

Unlocked 7 Apr @ 4:15am

Running With Scissors

Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.

Unlocked 7 Apr @ 7:22am

Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!

Killed over 1,000 people.

Unlocked 7 Apr @ 5:38pm

And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree

Killed all of the book protestors in the library.

Unlocked 3 Sep @ 3:38am

Lieberman is our Leader!

Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.

Unlocked 27 Aug @ 9:34am

Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.

Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.

Unlocked 7 Apr @ 8:01am

Can't Touch This

Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.

Unlocked 8 Apr @ 9:57am

Señor Cornballer

Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.

Unlocked 26 Oct @ 2:10am

GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!

Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.

Unlocked 8 Apr @ 11:07am

It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog

Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.

Unlocked 27 Aug @ 9:34am

Where's Mr. McGibblets?

Gave Krotchy the bad touch.

Unlocked 7 Apr @ 7:53am

Finkle IS Einhorn!

Gave a kickoff to a severed head.

Unlocked 7 Apr @ 10:19am

Anger Management With Roger Clemens

Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.

Unlocked 28 Apr @ 11:57am

Shiva Blast

"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.

Unlocked 8 Apr @ 5:08pm

I Am Legend

Committed suicide... the Taliban way.

Unlocked 7 Apr @ 5:53am

I should buy a boat

Read the newspaper every day.

Unlocked 19 Jun @ 11:53am

Friend of Dorothy

Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.

Unlocked 6 Apr @ 1:38pm

Officer McLovin'

Asked a police officer to sign your petition.

Unlocked 6 Apr @ 4:07pm

Well, aren't YOU a badass

Kicked open a door.

Unlocked 6 Apr @ 1:31pm

I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you

Put out someone that's on fire.

Unlocked 6 Apr @ 4:06pm

It's sterile and I like the taste

Sucked down your own piss.

Unlocked 28 Apr @ 9:50am

It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway

Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.

Unlocked 3 Sep @ 3:33am

FAB-U-LOUS!

Wore all three outfits.

Unlocked 7 Apr @ 10:11am

A-Rod Who?

Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.

Unlocked 8 Apr @ 5:04pm

Door Mat

Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.

Unlocked 27 Aug @ 9:34am

Chuck Norris'd!

Killed someone with a flying jump kick.

Unlocked 7 Apr @ 4:42am

One time, at band camp...

Saved the marching band from explody death.

Unlocked 1 Sep @ 8:09am

There's always money in the banana stand

Found the secret bank exit on Monday.

Unlocked 6 Apr @ 1:44pm

Gotta pay the Troll Toll

Found one of the hidden underground sewers.

Unlocked 7 Apr @ 6:41am

You are not alone

Observed an NPC going POSTAL!

Unlocked 7 Apr @ 4:05am

Thanks for the money!

Finished all seven days.

Unlocked 25 Apr @ 9:06am

GABAGOOOOOL!

Reunited with an old friend.

Unlocked 28 Apr @ 12:00pm

Holocaust: Part Deux

Reunited with an old enemy.

Unlocked 28 Apr @ 1:35pm

Rain on your Wedding Day

Reunited with an old flame.

Unlocked 29 Apr @ 10:05am

Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad

Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.

Unlocked 19 Jun @ 11:50am

Ginger Mint

Killed Zack Ward.

Unlocked 29 Apr @ 9:57am

RAFIBOMB!!!

Kicked 10 people in the balls.

Unlocked 18 Nov @ 2:24pm

Chapelle's Show

Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.

Michonne ain't got nothin' on me

Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.

Cesar Millan is Very Happy

Mauled 30 people with your dog.

2 / 30

Hello, Newman

Kicked 30 dogs.

12 / 30

Reddit would be proud.

Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.

Pussy on a Pedestal

Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.

2 / 10

Uncle T-Bag

Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.

Fear and Loathing

Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.

Rick Grimes 4 Life

Made 30 zombies lose their heads.

22 / 30

Anustart!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.

40 Year Old Virgin

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

CAN YOU DIG IT?!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)

Planet of the Apes: The Musical

Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.

Scientology Level: OT VIII

Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.

Fur Sure!

Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.

Don't taze me, bro!

Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.

10 / 20

Paid the Piper

Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.

I don't need virgins for this

Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.

Better than POSTAL III

Rescued your loyal companion.

My Name is Jesus

Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.

Harder than r/gonewild

Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.

Adderall4All

Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

Rich on Reddit

Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.

0 / 30

BioShocked

Spent $2000 on vending machines.

60 / 5,000

Gettin DP'd

Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.

0 / 30