[Explosives 24/25] "You just light it up and throw it away, how hard can it be?"


[Charisma 49/50] "Howdy there kids! I am a fellow drug consumer and I would like to buy some illegal substances from you and I am definetly not a cop. Pinky promise."



^Depicting Afghan soldiers defeating the USA circa 2021


I dreamed about a book that solves all problems mankind ever had.
I found it but it was written in an unsophisticated and unintelligible language known to an unfortunate few as "Danish" so I tossed it in the garbage.. where it belongs.


Story of God: A skydaddy spiritually raped a virgin, to give birth to himself, to perform a blood ritual sacrifice to himself, so he could become a space zombie, and forgive you of a sin he caused upon you, and give you a Mafia Protection racket type offer you can't refuse.

Hi! I'm P. van Boch, ex-Stormtrooper and the real father of Luke S. , I invented the invisible coat for Harry Potter, clean water, automobiles, porn, internet and of course fire. I'm ex-King Of The FBI, ex-King Of The Hill, Former Dancing With Stars Champion, Former WBC, WBA, WBO and IBF World Boxing Champion at Featherweight, Bantamweight, Welterweight, Middleweight and Heavyweight. And I am the winner of Mr. Douchebag 2015. I'm ex-CIA, ex-USMC and ex-Speznas. I was in seal team 6, the one that killed Osama it was nothing personal just a job. I have the license to kill. I have the real Justin Bieber chained up in my basement so i can torture him every day and i build myself a Bieber Robot to earn money he is licensed by my company i called "SkyNet". I'm CEO in a developer studio currently I work on a game called "Survive the Nights". I'm a former restaurateur with a chain that I named "KFC" (Maybe you heared of it already). Friday is my Poker-Night down in Pandemonium with my friend Seymour, God, Satan (Setevar like he wants to be called) and Osama Bin Laden and I never loose. I turned down the role of President Of the United States due to an injury. I trained John Rambo, The Terminator and Conan The Barbarian.
My best friend is Jean Claude Van Damme.
And my hobbys are gaming and buying souls from weak people (Soul count: 11).

Favorit Quotes:

"People are weird, that's why I keep it in the family."

"I had strings, but now I'm free..."

"Eight"

"Definitely needs more blood.."

"But I lit the match already!"

"Well ♥♥♥♥ me sideways"

"Das Leben is eigentlich garnich so geil" -Random Typ, 05.03.2019

How about some healthy sexism for the road?:
I'm kinda so-so on abortion. I mean, I support it because it kills babies, but I dont support it because it gives women a choice.

Chivalry isn't dead, it just doesn't require women anymore.