xzyzzy's POSTAL 2 Achievement Progress

R. Kelly's Protege

Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.

Unlocked 18 Feb, 2016 @ 11:53pm

Duck Dynasty

Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.

Unlocked 19 Feb, 2016 @ 10:07am

Here, Wilfred

Gained your first dog helper.

Unlocked 19 Feb, 2016 @ 10:32am

Chapelle's Show

Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.

Unlocked 21 Feb, 2016 @ 4:42pm

Taxidermy with Chuck Testa

Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.

Unlocked 18 Feb, 2016 @ 11:58pm

Someone's got a case of the Mondays!

Survived Monday.

Unlocked 19 Feb, 2016 @ 9:14am

C U Next Tuesday

Survived Tuesday.

Unlocked 19 Feb, 2016 @ 10:31am

OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!

Survived Wednesday.

Unlocked 21 Feb, 2016 @ 4:59pm

It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays

Survived Thursday.

Unlocked 21 Feb, 2016 @ 6:37pm

Workin' for the Weekend

Survived Friday.

Unlocked 2 Nov, 2016 @ 2:11pm

Screw Bill Lumbergh!

Survived Saturday.

Unlocked 3 Nov, 2016 @ 5:11pm

Reddit would be proud.

Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.

Unlocked 1 Nov, 2016 @ 3:47pm

I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace

Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.

Unlocked 21 Feb, 2016 @ 4:28pm

Do you even Enzyte, bro?

Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.

Unlocked 19 Feb, 2016 @ 10:19am

Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!

Killed over 1,000 people.

Unlocked 3 Nov, 2016 @ 5:33pm

And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree

Killed all of the book protestors in the library.

Unlocked 19 Feb, 2016 @ 9:24am

Lieberman is our Leader!

Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.

Unlocked 29 Oct, 2016 @ 8:39pm

Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.

Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.

Unlocked 1 Nov, 2016 @ 4:15pm

GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!

Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.

Unlocked 21 Feb, 2016 @ 6:49pm

It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog

Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.

Unlocked 21 Feb, 2016 @ 5:06pm

Where's Mr. McGibblets?

Gave Krotchy the bad touch.

Unlocked 21 Feb, 2016 @ 5:37pm

Finkle IS Einhorn!

Gave a kickoff to a severed head.

Unlocked 21 Feb, 2016 @ 4:57pm

Anger Management With Roger Clemens

Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.

Unlocked 21 Feb, 2016 @ 5:39pm

Shiva Blast

"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.

Unlocked 3 Nov, 2016 @ 4:50pm

I Am Legend

Committed suicide... the Taliban way.

Unlocked 19 Feb, 2016 @ 10:18am

Friend of Dorothy

Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.

Unlocked 18 Feb, 2016 @ 11:58pm

Officer McLovin'

Asked a police officer to sign your petition.

Unlocked 19 Feb, 2016 @ 9:16am

Well, aren't YOU a badass

Kicked open a door.

Unlocked 18 Feb, 2016 @ 11:35pm

I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you

Put out someone that's on fire.

Unlocked 19 Feb, 2016 @ 10:11am

It's sterile and I like the taste

Sucked down your own piss.

Unlocked 19 Feb, 2016 @ 10:19am

It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway

Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.

Unlocked 19 Feb, 2016 @ 9:17am

FAB-U-LOUS!

Wore all three outfits.

Unlocked 21 Feb, 2016 @ 6:17pm

I don't need virgins for this

Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.

Unlocked 21 Feb, 2016 @ 6:02pm

Door Mat

Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.

Unlocked 21 Feb, 2016 @ 6:12pm

Chuck Norris'd!

Killed someone with a flying jump kick.

Unlocked 19 Feb, 2016 @ 10:20am

Gotta pay the Troll Toll

Found one of the hidden underground sewers.

Unlocked 20 Feb, 2016 @ 12:22pm

Michonne ain't got nothin' on me

Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.

I swear, I thought it was a home fill

Exploded a nuclear bomb.

Cesar Millan is Very Happy

Mauled 30 people with your dog.

10 / 30

OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale

Roasted 30 people with fire.

17 / 30

Rebecca Black's Nightmare

Totaled 30 cars.

19 / 30

Hello, Newman

Kicked 30 dogs.

0 / 30

Darth Maul'd!

Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.

28 / 30

Pussy on a Pedestal

Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.

0 / 10

Uncle T-Bag

Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.

Running With Scissors

Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.

2 / 30

Can't Touch This

Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.

16 / 30

Fear and Loathing

Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.

Señor Cornballer

Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.

0 / 30

Rick Grimes 4 Life

Made 30 zombies lose their heads.

0 / 30

Anustart!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.

40 Year Old Virgin

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

CAN YOU DIG IT?!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)

Planet of the Apes: The Musical

Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.

Scientology Level: OT VIII

Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.

Fur Sure!

Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.

Don't taze me, bro!

Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.

10 / 20

I should buy a boat

Read the newspaper every day.

Paid the Piper

Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.

A-Rod Who?

Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.

One time, at band camp...

Saved the marching band from explody death.

Thanks for the money!

Finished all seven days.

GABAGOOOOOL!

Reunited with an old friend.

Holocaust: Part Deux

Reunited with an old enemy.

Rain on your Wedding Day

Reunited with an old flame.

Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad

Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.

Better than POSTAL III

Rescued your loyal companion.

My Name is Jesus

Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.

Harder than r/gonewild

Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.

Adderall4All

Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

Rich on Reddit

Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.

0 / 30

BioShocked

Spent $2000 on vending machines.

0 / 5,000

Gettin DP'd

Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.

0 / 30