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b

hey man, add me i need to tell you smth

One time I was masturbating in a subway station and this guy comes up to me and starts tickling my butthole while saying "Proceed". So yeah, don't trust him.

So do you guys know those waterslides that you stand in, and then they suddenly drop you straight down onto the water slide? If not, look them up on YouTube, there's nothing like them.

Ah yes, the sweet memories of my first time on one of these. I feel that my mental/emotional scars have healed enough to tell this gem.

Once I made it to the bottom, I sat there for a moment, absolutely violated. I felt like someone in an episode of Law & Order: Special Victims Unit. I built up the courage to finally stand up, and all I could feel was the nice warm stream of water mixed with ♥♥♥♥, and maybe a little bit of blood shoot out of my ass faster than the Steamboat Geyser at Yellowstone National Park. I quickly got off the slide and ran to the bathroom, with a trail of ♥♥♥♥♥♥ water tailing me as the slide operator stared in awe. They had to shut down the slide for the rest of the day :'), but man was my ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ clean after that!

Moral of the story: Keep your damn legs crossed on waterslides.

jeomajk!