As the first review from a person who didn't receive the game for free, I'd like to say.

Good. Very good. I recommend this game.

Game being run at High, motion blur off, DOF off, full screen 1440p

Running smooth (60-80FPS) with occasional drops to (40-50FPS) during many explosions on the following specs:


Video Card:
Zotac GeForce RTX 2080 8 GB TU104-400A Revision A1, 12nm Technology, Micron Vendor, Max TDP 214.02W, Core frequency 1305 MHz with memory frequency of 7000MHz GDDR6, Release date Aud 20, 2018, Bus Interface PCIe x15 3.0 @ x16 3.0, DX12, RTX, Using drivers 456.71

CPU:
Intel i7-9700k @3.60MHz 14nm Technology, Max TDP 95.0W, Core Speed ~4600GHz

Monitor #1: (Being used in game)
Samsung LC32JG50QQUXEN 32" Curved Gaming Monitor - WQHD 2560x1440, 144Hz, 2x HDMI, DisplayPort

Memory:
G.Skill Trident Z RGB 32.53 GB DDR4-3202 Memory, Dual Channel, FSB:DRAM 1:24, CL 16, tRCD 18, tRP 18, Cycle time 38, Row Refresh cycle time 560, Command Rate (CR) 2T, Latency timings CL16 (16-18-18-38)

Last memory:
I remember it being a cold autumnal afternoon in central London. The faint whisper of wind caressing my window panes while I sat at my evergreen desk typing away on my smooth plastic keyboard. The lights were dim but enough to give me sight of my doorway. I looked over expecting to see nothing but there, I saw, my dog, staring at me with furiously menacing eyes. It really felt like she was piercing right through my heart. I stood up expecting to get pounced on and devoured by the beast but instead she turned around and began walking back upstairs. I followed along with haste, eager to see what the beast had in store for me. I turned left into the kitchen where I saw my dog standing on top of her empty bowl. The bowl was so symbolic, was all of our life just an empty nothingness waiting to get eaten by a larger being? I rapidly darted across the kitchen and opened a can of the finest dog food. I used a silver teaspoon and patiently excavated the can into her bowl. Once I had finished, she gave me a look of satisfaction and allowed me to go back downstairs. As I walked back downstairs I could hear the faint sound of her collar striking her metal bowl as she devoured the food. I sat back in my chair and began typing this review.

Door knob:
Idk some bronze one from Argos

Thermal Paste:
Thermal Glizzy Kryonaut High Performance Thermal Paste - 1.5ml / 5.5g Used all 5.5g on CPU

RGB Data:
CPU RGB - Rainbow
GPU RGB - Static white
NZXT Cooler #1 RGB - Pink flashing at 5Hz
Fan RGB - Rainbow
Hard drive RGB - Static Pink
USB-C Port RGB - FPS Dependant Red -> Green

Operating system:
Windows 11 (Upgraded to Windows 12 13/03/2022)

Chair:
Herman Miller Aeron Office Chair, Mineral/Polished Aluminium, Seat-to-back angle 25degrees, Chair reclination at 120degrees

Glasses:
Synth 3 Man Eyeglasses Police VPLB48

Phone:
OnePlus 6t 128gb Model (Upgraded to Apple iPod Touch Mini 5G 13/03/2022)

Internet information:
ISP: India Mobil
UP: 1 byte per second
DOWN: 425 petabytes an hour
Location of nearest tower:
53°20'41.6"N 2°05'12.3"W

Weather at moment of review:
Coldest night of this winter so far at around -13℃, patchy freezing fog which is slow to clear. Widespread risk of ice on untreated surfaces, low pressure coming in from the south will introduce strengthening winds, some sleet and some snow which can become a recipe for ice.

Night vision scope used:
Pulsar Forward F455 Front Mounted Digital Night Vision Scope Add-On along side a Night Master NM1 CL Long Range Hunting Light with Changeable LED & Rear Focus with eye-shine out to 600m and clear ID through the riflescope with the white LED at 250m

Monitor #2:
Dell UltraScan 1600HS D1626HT - CRT monitor - 21" Using Trinitron - aperture grille technology, 1600 x 1200 at 85 Hz, VHz 160 Hz, HHz 107 kHz, VGA, AC 120/230 V, Max Operating Temperature 104 °C, limited warranty

Shoes:
Navy Hampton Classics Charlie Trainers

Gaming Rug:
Pinegar Green/Pink/Blue Rug in Pink made from real sheep remains

Storage:
1x USB 2GB for windows install
2x HDD 15.3 GB for games

Wiring:
PSU Connections: RS PRO Harsh Environment Wire 16 mm² CSA, Transparent 50m Reel
Motherboard connections: Thermocouple & Extension Wire Type RTD, -75 → +260 °C 6 Core Screened PFA Teflon Sheath 50m

Printer:
Kyocera ECOSYS P8060cdn A3 Colour Laser Printer

FAX Machine:
Brother MFC-L6900DW Mono Laser Printer - All-in-One, Wireless/USB 2.0/Network/NFC, Printer/Scanner/Copier/Fax Machine, 2 Sided Printing, 50PPM, A4 Printer, Business Printer

Average CPU temperature during gameplay: 150-220°C

Mouse pad:
Solid pink Pad-Zilla 96" x 36" (2438mm x 914mm x 30mm) XXXL-Large "The Mother" 8 foot long mouse mat

Drink on desk at time of recording:
Empellón Cocina's Fat-Washed Mezcal

Desk:
Portable Mini Folding Desk Picnic Camping Table Laptop Computer Notebook Tray

Position of balls:
Non-existant, cut off after adoption by owners.

Flooring:
Kraus Premium Rigid Core Luxury Vinyl Tile - Delamere

PC power source:
Corsair RM350 powered through photovoltaic cells alongside my local wind turbine which I illegally tapped into to steal energy from.

Specs of my house:
Location: London
Value: £120,000,000
Floors: 10
Bedrooms: 7
Bathrooms: 12
Size: 996m^2
Electricity: No
Access to clean water: No
Swimming pool: Yes
Garden: Yes

Sexuality: Gay on Mondays to Fridays, Allosexual on weekends (Adds 1-2FPS)

Height (Before playing game): 188cm

Height (After playing game): 192cm

Age: 59.2

Hair colour: Bald

Dog: Too fat

Distance from monitor: 5.6m

Average wavelength emitted by monitor: 0.01nm

Oven: 52 in. 6.7 cu. ft. Slide-In Electric Range with Self Cleaning Convection Oven in Matte White, Fingerprint Resistant, Face Recognition, Wireless Charging and:
- Gourmet guided cooking automatically adjusts temperature and time
- Wirelessly control oven functions from your smartphone
- Smudgeproof and undeniably beautiful

Microwave: Russell Hobbs RHRETMD706 Solo Microwave

Edit: Thanks for my first ever award kind stranger!
Edit 2: OMG this is amazing i'm crying and ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ myself
Edit 3: 10 awards?!?!? thanks so much kind strangers <3
Edit 4: Holy Keanu! r/funny moment thanks for the 69 awards XD
Edit 5: Some of you clearly dont get this r/woosh moment LOL
Edit 6: My karma is so high right now thanks for all the awards amazing strangers
Edit 7: My dog ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ on my bed and it's really gross can someone please come clean it up for me I'm too scared to touch it
Edit 8: I've been going back and forth in my car for the past six weeks looking for a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ parking space but I can't find one. Can anyone move their car please?
Edit 9: I've found a parking space. Someone has graffitied the disabled person logo on top of it which I think is very rude of them.
Edit 10: Turns out I was not allowed to park there. They have taken my car.
Edit 11: I have just walked back home (about 32km) and they have also taken my home. Apparently I can't just ignore my crippling gambling debts.
Edit 12: I've resorted to eating food from the floor. I have learned to love tinned cat food.
Edit 13: A kind man has offered me a new life if I took a backpack with me to Ecudaor. I am keen to live the high life so I accepted. Flying out tomorrow.
Edit 14: Turns out there were drugs in the bag. I have been detained until further notice. Sent from my Nokia brick.
Edit 15: Judge has sentenced me to 15 years in prison. This might be my last edit. Thank you all.
Edit 16: I escaped from Tula de Allende Prison in Mexico at around 4am on the first of December 2021. I then flew over to the Isle of Wight (UK) where I am now residing with my four lovely dogs, two charming daughters who I have sent off to the country's finest all-girls boarding school and pet frog named Harriet.
Edit 17: It's been a few months now and I have decided to set up a company specialising in vegan burger mix. If you know any good recipes let me know!

(Edits continue in the comments below)