Uh oh, looks like I gave Thomas too much slommy. He's... Not waking up...

Its your turn to take care of thomas. Ill just drop him off here.
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　＼二つ

Own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. "What the deuce?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended.

I dont believe in depression. How could you be sad when liquor stores are everywhere? And if you hang out outside the store you always meet cool people. Like brah! go meet some friends! You know what else I dont believe in? Addiction.You're mispronouncing "dedication". I get inspired by people who choose a life path and stick to it. Like brah, you've been vaping your whole life, keep going! Why would you quit now and let that experience go to waste? and you know who I really look up to? The gamblers. Not only did they pick the most fun profession possible, but they keep getting filthy rich doing it. Bro! I'm afraid they're going to run the casinos out of business before I win big myself! Thats why casinos are switching to online format, they cant afford to keep the lights on! dude once I found out I could gamble on my phone, I had to quit my job. Now I make money sitting on the toilet. Instead of wiping I let it crust up while I run slots. I cant believe ive been wiping my whole life.

what the flip!

what the deuce