Gonzo's POSTAL 2 Achievement Progress

R. Kelly's Protege

Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.

Unlocked 28 Jun, 2017 @ 5:21pm

Duck Dynasty

Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.

Unlocked 28 Jun, 2017 @ 6:47pm

Here, Wilfred

Gained your first dog helper.

Unlocked 28 Jun, 2017 @ 5:35pm

Chapelle's Show

Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.

Unlocked 31 May, 2019 @ 8:03pm

Taxidermy with Chuck Testa

Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.

Unlocked 28 Jun, 2017 @ 4:36pm

Someone's got a case of the Mondays!

Survived Monday.

Unlocked 28 Jun, 2017 @ 5:24pm

C U Next Tuesday

Survived Tuesday.

Unlocked 28 Jun, 2017 @ 9:03pm

OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!

Survived Wednesday.

Unlocked 29 Jun, 2017 @ 12:40am

It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays

Survived Thursday.

Unlocked 29 Jun, 2017 @ 1:21pm

Workin' for the Weekend

Survived Friday.

Unlocked 29 Jun, 2017 @ 3:21pm

Screw Bill Lumbergh!

Survived Saturday.

Unlocked 29 Jun, 2017 @ 8:24pm

I swear, I thought it was a home fill

Exploded a nuclear bomb.

Unlocked 1 Jul, 2017 @ 4:50pm

Cesar Millan is Very Happy

Mauled 30 people with your dog.

Unlocked 31 May, 2019 @ 3:35pm

OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale

Roasted 30 people with fire.

Unlocked 28 Jun, 2017 @ 5:17pm

Rebecca Black's Nightmare

Totaled 30 cars.

Unlocked 30 Jun, 2017 @ 11:59am

Darth Maul'd!

Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.

Unlocked 1 Jul, 2017 @ 3:59pm

Reddit would be proud.

Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.

Unlocked 31 May, 2019 @ 2:56pm

Pussy on a Pedestal

Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.

Unlocked 31 May, 2019 @ 8:43pm

I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace

Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.

Unlocked 29 Jun, 2017 @ 12:28am

Do you even Enzyte, bro?

Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.

Unlocked 29 Jun, 2017 @ 12:28am

Running With Scissors

Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.

Unlocked 31 May, 2019 @ 4:38pm

Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!

Killed over 1,000 people.

Unlocked 29 Jun, 2017 @ 1:05am

And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree

Killed all of the book protestors in the library.

Unlocked 28 Jun, 2017 @ 7:19pm

Lieberman is our Leader!

Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.

Unlocked 28 Jun, 2017 @ 4:40pm

Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.

Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.

Unlocked 28 Jun, 2017 @ 9:26pm

Can't Touch This

Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.

Unlocked 28 Jun, 2017 @ 9:30pm

Fear and Loathing

Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.

Unlocked 31 May, 2019 @ 3:41pm

Señor Cornballer

Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.

Unlocked 29 May, 2019 @ 6:25pm

GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!

Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.

Unlocked 29 Jun, 2017 @ 1:36pm

Anustart!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.

Unlocked 29 May, 2019 @ 7:22pm

40 Year Old Virgin

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

Unlocked 25 Jun, 2019 @ 5:40pm

Fur Sure!

Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.

Unlocked 29 May, 2019 @ 4:22pm

It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog

Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.

Unlocked 28 Jun, 2017 @ 9:21pm

Where's Mr. McGibblets?

Gave Krotchy the bad touch.

Unlocked 29 Jun, 2017 @ 1:14pm

Finkle IS Einhorn!

Gave a kickoff to a severed head.

Unlocked 31 May, 2019 @ 1:38pm

Anger Management With Roger Clemens

Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.

Unlocked 28 Jun, 2017 @ 9:45pm

Don't taze me, bro!

Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.

Unlocked 29 May, 2019 @ 6:26pm

Friend of Dorothy

Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.

Unlocked 28 Jun, 2017 @ 5:22pm

Officer McLovin'

Asked a police officer to sign your petition.

Unlocked 28 Jun, 2017 @ 5:38pm

Well, aren't YOU a badass

Kicked open a door.

Unlocked 28 Jun, 2017 @ 4:52pm

I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you

Put out someone that's on fire.

Unlocked 28 Jun, 2017 @ 4:46pm

It's sterile and I like the taste

Sucked down your own piss.

Unlocked 28 Jun, 2017 @ 5:02pm

It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway

Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.

Unlocked 28 Jun, 2017 @ 5:28pm

FAB-U-LOUS!

Wore all three outfits.

Unlocked 29 May, 2019 @ 5:32pm

Door Mat

Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.

Unlocked 29 Jun, 2017 @ 2:03pm

One time, at band camp...

Saved the marching band from explody death.

Unlocked 31 May, 2019 @ 2:40pm

There's always money in the banana stand

Found the secret bank exit on Monday.

Unlocked 28 Aug, 2019 @ 9:32pm

Gotta pay the Troll Toll

Found one of the hidden underground sewers.

Unlocked 28 Jun, 2017 @ 9:05pm

You are not alone

Observed an NPC going POSTAL!

Unlocked 28 Aug, 2019 @ 10:13pm

Thanks for the money!

Finished all seven days.

Unlocked 1 Jul, 2017 @ 4:51pm

GABAGOOOOOL!

Reunited with an old friend.

Unlocked 2 Jul, 2017 @ 6:50pm

Holocaust: Part Deux

Reunited with an old enemy.

Unlocked 2 Jul, 2017 @ 11:12pm

PooMasher

Bought the toilet paper instead of stealing it.

Unlocked 2 Jul, 2017 @ 8:00pm

Gettin DP'd

Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.

Unlocked 2 Jul, 2017 @ 11:04pm

I'm not even supposed to be here today!

Waited 13 real world years to see an in-game Easter egg. Thanks for sticking with us!

Unlocked 28 Jun, 2017 @ 5:58pm

Michonne ain't got nothin' on me

Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.

Hello, Newman

Kicked 30 dogs.

27 / 30

Uncle T-Bag

Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.

Rick Grimes 4 Life

Made 30 zombies lose their heads.

22 / 30

CAN YOU DIG IT?!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)

Planet of the Apes: The Musical

Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.

Scientology Level: OT VIII

Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.

Shiva Blast

"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.

I Am Legend

Committed suicide... the Taliban way.

I should buy a boat

Read the newspaper every day.

Paid the Piper

Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.

I don't need virgins for this

Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.

A-Rod Who?

Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.

Chuck Norris'd!

Killed someone with a flying jump kick.

Rain on your Wedding Day

Reunited with an old flame.

Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad

Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.

Better than POSTAL III

Rescued your loyal companion.

My Name is Jesus

Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.

Harder than r/gonewild

Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.

Adderall4All

Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

Rich on Reddit

Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.

5 / 30

BioShocked

Spent $2000 on vending machines.

238 / 5,000