(Warning: This is a word wall. I divided it into sections for your viewing pleasure, but please understand: I am kind of in love with this game, and I have a LOT to say about it. Feel free to skip this. Hell, I would)
(Also, I tend to hyperbolate a lot, and I like to sound miffed for impact or just because, so please don't take this like I'm actually mad. I made this for my own amusement)


-Introduction (AKA Why did none of you buy this damned game)-

The fact that this game consistently sells so poorly and is so overlooked no matter how many times it's released is a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ sin that will stain humanity for decades to come. This game won a Guinness World Record award for “Least Commercially Successful Winner of a Game of the Year award” in 2006, for ♥♥♥♥♥ sake.

It was released for the PS2 and the Wii originally. Sold poorly.
Then it was sold as Okami HD on the PS3. And then the PS4, XBox One and now even PC. Still sells poorly.

I'm sorry, are Clover Studios just cursed? Why did barely anyone play Viewtiful Joe? Why does Okami constantly sell poorly? Why does no one, AND I MEAN NO ONE, talk about God Hand and how much of a difficult and fun game it is? Why don't we have a God Hand HD? Have any of you even HEARD of these games or Clover Studios themselves before you read this?!

Okami and God Hand both sold so poorly that Clover Studios had to shut down very soon after. They then went on to create their own studio, it's very niche, you probably never heard of it, it's called PLATINUM GAMES. Y'know, the people who made Bayonetta, Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance and Nier? Yea, a studio with that track record probably didn't make anything too good before it was founded, right?

When a great game releases with no fanfare or popularity, it's a damn shame that comes down to a lot of unfortunate factors, like bad timing or bad advertising, so on and so forth, and I get that...

But when a game has been critically loved for over a decade, over 90% of the people who reviewed this on steam recommend it, and the fact that this is the THIRD TIME THIS GAME HAS BEEN RELEASED... I can't excuse you for not playing it. How many times does a game get released 3 times? And I do NOT wanna hear Skyrim!

Why? Why does Okami always come up short?
Is it just pure, awful luck that Clover just had all of their great games fail remarkably for years, even after their studios died?
Is it because of that one awful Completionist video where he constantly called the game a Zelda clone for 20 minutes, apparently unaware of what a "clone" is, which just so happens to be the first video that comes up on Youtube when you search for "Okami?" What other game with 90% positive reviews has a video saying the game is a lazy clone of some other game as the first result?
What events made it to where, even after Platinum became famous for their fantastic games, this game they made before Platinum was even conceived was forgotten? It's paradoxically FAMOUS for how NOT FAMOUS IT IS! IT WON A ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ AWARD FOR IT!!!

... Okay, I'll calm down. Lets get to an actual review, shall we?


-Review, and Who This Game Is For-


Difficulty: Kirby-level
Listen, this game is not one to kick your ass. It's a game that, unless you intentionally play stupid, you will almost certainly not die. This is not a game for people who value challenge in their games above all else. But listen, before this deters you, I LOOOOOOOVE difficult games, and this game is still very dear to me. This game doesn't have incredible difficulty, but that isn't this game's strong suit.

This game isn't about difficulty as much as it is about exploring and taking in the game's visuals and world. Just roam around, have fun, collect some stuff, fight some demons, unlocks abilities and have a grand ol' time.

Basically, if you can play a Kirby game or Hat in Time and still enjoy it, you'll do just fine here.


Artstyle, Visuals and Atmosphere: Gorgeous
This is not a game that goes for an ultra-realistic style. This is a game with a traditional Japanese watercolor style for everything. It's a style that, in my opinion, hasn't gotten old even though it's a game from 2006. Everything looks so neat and interesting, and fits with the cartoony aesthetic this game goes for. This style can also allow for things to look really cool or intimidating, with boss pictures and effects and so on. This game is a great example of how to give your game an artstyle that works for the game it's applied to and that lasts a looong time without becoming painful to look at or outdated.


Story: Pleasant
This game takes so much inspiration from Japanese mythology and history that even an uncultured swine like myself could notice and appreciate it. The story, though not mind-shattering or complicated, is still a pleasant ride from start to finish, with delightful characters and reasons to keep exploring the world. It's filled with character and charm that you can't help but smile at some of the events that occur while playing. This game can also have it's somber moments, and there is plenty of death, but it's a charming experience through and through.

Keep in mind, since this is a game based on Japanese culture, there is a lot of alcohol and some inappropriate humor here and there, if you really care about that stuff.


-Conclusion-

This is a difficult game for me to review, frankly. If I read a review that said the game was rather easy and that the gameplay was "fine," I'd probably take a pass, but ♥♥♥♥ man, this game is just delightful. You just gotta believe me.

I'm just so tired of this game I love being repeatably ignored, man. This game has had a legendary amount of bad luck. So if this review is what it takes for ONE person to buy this game and they end up enjoying it, I'll consider this review a success.

Please, if this game sounds like you would enjoy it in the SLIGHTEST, give it a try.

I just need SOMEONE to gush to about this game. Please...


I beg you...



... Also remake God Hand, you COWARDS--