I'm a man for the millennium, digital and smoke free.
A diversified, multi-cultural, post-modern, deconstructionist;
politically, anatomically, and ecologically incorrect.
I've been uplinked and downloaded, inputted and outsourced.
I know the upside of downsizing, I know the downside of upgrading.
I'm a high-tech low life. A cutting edge, state of the art, bi-coastal multi-tasker and I can give you a gigabyte, in a nano-second.

I'm new wave but I'm old school, and my inner child is outward bound.
I'm a hot-wired, heat-seeking, warm hearted, cool customer, voice-activated and bio-degradable.
I interface with my database, and my database is in cyberspace; so I'm interactive, hyperactive, and from time to time I'm radioactive.

Behind the 8-ball, ahead of the curve, riding the wave, dodging a bullet, and pushing the envelope.
I'm on point, on task, on message, and off drugs.
I got no need for coke and speed.
I got no urge to binge and purge.
I'm in the moment, on the edge, over the top, but under the radar.
A high concept, low-profile, medium ranged ballistic missionary.
A street wise smart bomb.
A top-gun bottom feeder.
I wear power ties, I tell power lies, I take power naps, I run victory laps.
I'm a totally ongoing, big-foot, slam-dunk rainmaker with a pro-active outreach.
A raging work-a-holic.
A working rage-a-holic.
Out of rehab and in denial.

I've got a personal trainer, a personal assistant, a personal shopper, and a personal agenda.
You can't shut me up.
You can't dumb me down.
Cuz I'm tireless and I'm wireless.
I'm an Alpha male on Beta-blockers.

I'm a non-believer but an over-achiever.
Laid back but fashion forward.
Upfront, down-home, high rent, low maintenance.
Super sized, long lasting, high definition, fast acting, oven ready, and built to last.
I'm a hands on, footloose, knee-jerk, head case; prematurely post-traumatic.
And I have a love child who sends me hate mail.

But I'm feeling, I'm caring, I'm healing, I'm sharing; a supportive, bonding, nurturing, primary caregiver.
My output is down but my income is up.
I take a short-position on the long bond and my revenue stream has its own cash flow.
I read junk mail, I eat junk food, I buy junk bonds, I watch trash sports; gender specific, capital intensive, user-friendly and LACTOSE INTOLERANT.

I like rough sex.
I like tough love.
I use the F-word in my emails and the software on my hard-drive is hardcore, no soft-porn.
I bought a microwave at a mini mall, I bought a mini van at a mega store.
I eat fast-food in the slow lane.
I'm toll-free, bite-size, ready to wear, and I come in all sizes.

A fully equipped, factory authorized, hospital tested, clinically proven, scientifically formulated medical miracle.
I've been pre-washed, pre-cooked, pre-heated, pre-screened, pre-approved, pre-packaged, post-dated, freeze dried, double wrapped, vacuum packed, AND; I have an unlimited broadband capacity.

I'm a rude dude, but I'm the real deal.
Lean and mean.
♥♥♥♥♥♥, locked, and ready to rock.
Rough, tough, and hard to bluff.
I take it slow, I go with the flow, I ride with the tide, I got glide in my stride.
Drivin and movin, sailin and spinnin, jivin and groovin, wailin and winnin.
I don't snooze, so I don't lose.
I keep the pedal to the metal and the rubber on the road.
I party hardy.
And lunch time, is crunch time.
I'm hangin in, there ain't no doubt;
and I'm hangin tough, OVER AND OUT!