Recent reviews by Mr. Fawking Obama

yeah it's an addiction

Playing this is what peenor enlargement therapy feels like.

You can't spell orgasmic without The Universim.

Go ahead, try it.

Nothing fills me with sexual pleasure more than selling organs to other prospecting colonies, then raiding them with my incredibly drugged colonists as I sit back and watch that monkey fiesta ensue. Spoiler alert - they all die in beautiful fashion.

Nothing truly makes me incredibly sexually stimulated as much as Stellaris does. Even with my ED, this game is like SUPER viagra.

This game is like snorting crack cocaine over a beautiful model's voluptuous body; sexy, riveting, and dangerous. Sexy because the endless empire customization and "galaxy-building" is a gigantic tingle in my lower member. Riveting because the ecstasy you feel when you finally dominate that benign (cancerous for the uninitiated) fallen empire and devour all of their territory and meticulous resources is truly astonishing, and dangerous because this game is molding me into a genocidal maniac.

Excellent job, Paradox, you have turned a very raunchy and humble warmonger out of me.

This game sorta cured the AIDs the previous game gave me.

This game gave me AIDs.

I never know what's going on but it certainly makes me horny when an enemy nation starts marching their troops over to my territory. Good lord.

Well, I simply do not like this game.

Huh? My hours? Sorry I think I left my kid baking in the car out on the Walmart parking lot-

Another quality game to get slurred on relentlessly while 14 year old Jimmy sh*ts his guts out while on the mic, all while you get killed simply because you showed a pixel of your big fat toe to the enemy Ash one-trick sh*tter. It's like a zoo for low-iq degenerates, and I loved every moment of it. Good job UbiSh*t.