nuts now

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╚═(███)═╝ WOW! You encountered a wild Lennipide! Only great people and friends see this
.╚═(███)═╝ rare creature! If you know a great friend, send this lennipede to them; It is a
..╚═(███)═╝ sign of cancer and they should ♥♥♥
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I sexually Identify as an Attack Helicopter. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of soaring over the oilfields dropping hot sticky loads on disgusting foreigners. People say to me that a person being a helicopter is Impossible and I’m ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ retarded but I don’t care, I’m beautiful. I’m having a plastic surgeon install rotary blades, 30 mm cannons and AMG-114 Hellfire missiles on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me “Apache” and respect my right to kill from above and kill needlessly. If you can’t accept me you’re a heliphobe and need to check your vehicle privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.

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*.。˛*˛.*☆҉ *.*˛★ ˛*.。˛* ˛. * *. ˛*☆҉.。˛* ˛. *☆*. ˛*.。˛* ˛. *
*._██_*。*.*/˛.*\ .˛* .˛.*.☆* *.' 。* .˛.☆҉*..*,BRANDOWHATITDOOO
˛* (´• ̮•)*˛ .°*/♫.♫\*˛*.* ˛_Π_____. *.˛*˛*。*˛¯¯\/¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯
.°( . •. )˛˛°./• '♫ ' •\.˛*./______/~＼*. ˛*☆˛,*˛'. ☻/ ˛* ˛. *。
*(...'•'.. ) *˛╬╬╬╬╬˛°..｜田田 ｜門｜╬╬╬╬╬ /▌ ˛* ' *。*.
¯˜"*°••°*"˜¯`´¯˜"*°••°*"˜¯` ´¯˜"*°´¯˜"*°••°*"˜¯`´¯˜"*°*••°*"˜¯

After a good game in csgo, i added him because he seemed like a cool guy. We got chatting, over the next couple of months we became good friends. Lots of banter, lots of great CS and most importantly true friendship.
I invited him to my house for a csgo lan party. He said he was coming so i was looking forward to meeting him in real life.
When he arrived at my house, he pushed me against the wall and started nibbling my ear, i felt his hard ♥♥♥♥ push against my leg. I punched him and then 1 tapped him. Turns out he was gay. Don't trust this guy.