Recent reviews by Trick

It's slop. You can't get fish out of rivers without changing your graphic settings first. That's the level of quality we are dealing with here. Less than 5% of all players even managed to get a single achievement. No surprise there.

Aside from the fear mechanic and Jack, there isn't much to write home about. 80% of the DLC consists of gathering collectibles or finishing optional objectives. There are only 3 segments in which you get to play as Jack himself, and one of them is just a tutorial. Being able to play as the antagonist is a unique feature that I adore. And as much as I enjoyed playing as Jack, he still felt underdeveloped. There should have been a bigger focus on him instead of Evie and her slop side missions. Another minor complaint I have is how despite playing as a literal serial killer, you're still discouraged from slaughtering innocent bystanders. Really, you couldn't lift this restriction to suit the Ripper theme? The price tag is not justified for what you get, overall an underwhelming expansion.

I've put up with this game for long enough. There is no 'story', there just isn't. Audio logs, data entries, ancient structures don't account for a narrative. But I couldn't give two ♥♥♥♥♥ about that. What got under my skin is the gameplay loop that consists of swimming back and forward and gathering materials. The progression system is also a complete diaster. Very few locations get marked for exploration. You're forced to discover a multitude of specific locations for yourself. There is no map, no GPS, just a pointless compass that does ♥♥♥♥ all. It doesn't take a genius to grasp why a game that introduces an extra vertical movement axis shouldn't rely too heavily on blind exploration. If at least the upgrades to movement speed had a more significant impact, this would be partially excuseable.

They robbed me of my 100% completion several times by releasing new DLCs. Purge the DLC-related achievements and I might take down this review. I'm not going to reward this insidious business practise of screwing over achievement hunters in particular. You know exactly what you're doing. This ♥♥♥♥ should be illegal in the first place.

A necessary purchase for the sake of achievement completion. Just one achievement is tied to this heap of trash DLC. I can't believe they charge 10€ for it. I paid 1,50€ and still feel ripped off. It's funny how the content description has to specify, that the new operation comes with cinematics. Bravo. The fact that this has to be pointed out speaks volumes on the standards at Ubisoft.

(This review was meant for the original release but since that isn't on Steam anymore, I'll leave this review here to vent my frustrations)

I never wanted to cheat my way to 100% so badly. But in typical Ubisoft fashion, I couldn't even do that because save files gathered from other players are incompatible for whatever reason. I pray that whoever was responsible for the optional objectives in this game rots in hell for all eternity. You have to be mentally ill to come up with some of these ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ challenges. And then there is all the other ♥♥♥♥ you have to do for a full completion. Running around two underground mazes for an hour? Revealing the entire map on 3 large-scale environments? The moronic club challenges? ♥♥♥♥ right off. Why is any of this relevant to finish this piece of ♥♥♥♥ game? This is the last ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ straw. I've never been this furious with any of the AC games. Ubisoft, there is a special place in hell for all the people who were involved with this title in particular, so strap on tight and enjoy the ride!

How fitting that the game is called 'Stellar Mess' because that's exactly what it is. There is a reason why this genre hasn't been popular in the last few decades. The solutions to proceed are so utterly convoluted that I had to look up a guide halfway through. Not only that, but I managed to softlock myself, forcing me to start the game from scratch and follow the walkthrough guide to the letter. I got this game for free and still feel ripped off. In retrospect, I should have demanded payment to play this trainwreck. Dear Stellar boy, don't release a second chapter. Just scrap the whole thing and get yourself a retail job or something.

Yet again another disaster by Ubisoft. The game is so buggy that even the Steam overlay doesn't work. There is a bug in the game that makes your whip permanently disappear. According to a post I found, this has been a known issue from a decade ago. But an HD update is more important than fixing game-breaking bugs, great priorities. I've stumbled upon issues in this game that I have never seen in any other. Swimming in the air, vanishing into nowhere and crashing the whole game, soft locking due to an animal attack script not playing correctly, running endlessly in a certain direction after instantly killing a guard with a blank poison dart. The whole game was made on a shoestring budget, and you can certainly tell when looking at the cutscenes, or rather lack thereof.

Edit: I had to replay half of the game just to get the whip back for this moronic achievement. And because you can't skip cutscenes in this ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ game, it takes nearly twice the time. Ubisoft, kindly go ♥♥♥♥ yourself for this little stunt.

Why should I bother putting effort into detailing everything wrong with this ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ game when Ubisoft can't be bothered to put effort into making it in the first place? Nostalgia baiting seems to be their main tactic now. But bringing back Aiden doesn't make up for all the fecal matter you find in this game. Why the ♥♥♥♥ would you remove iconic features like the blackout? Why are there no sniper rifles anymore? Why did you only hire 5 voice actors for all the operatives, half of which only talking gibberish to imitate a British accent? Why didn't you just commit your entire focus to the Bloodline DLC and turned that into the full game?

A lot of the features in this game appear to have been made for ♥♥♥♥♥ and giggles. Yes, people will talk about being able to play as a granny. But what purpose does it actually serve aside from gaining publicity? It's only fun for like 5 minutes, then you'll want to swap to a character that is actually useful. It's a shame that the Watch Dogs franchise will die like this. At least Aiden got his happy ending, although I'm not a fan of all this sci-fi crap being implemented as a whole. Also, I don't know why they settled on a 17-year time skip from the first game, it's very odd and ruins every potential to have Aiden reappear. I also could have done with a lot less drones, whoever thought this was a good idea deserves to be kicked off a cliff.

Within the first minute of playing, I already knew that this game would get a negative review. What they were thinking when designing the control layout is beyond me. And even though I eventually got used to these dreadful controls, it doesn't change the fact that you can't customize half of them in the first place. I have no trouble believing that this game was made in just 8 months. Only the last few sequences feel like a story, everything up to that point is either a tutorial or another filler mission. The amount of climbing you have to do in this game is also absolutely ridiculous. Normalize grappling hooks for all AC games from now on.

The achievements were mostly passable. Although to get one in particular, you will need to save up roughly 500K Akçe, just to purchase a bunch of expensive books. The maximum income you can generate through property ownership is around 30K Akçe for every 20 minutes. But that's assuming you purchased all the expensive properties too, most of which costing more than the income you generate at once. Thankfully I stumbled onto a guide for quick and easy cash flow, otherwise, the grind for this particular achievement would have forced me to keep the game running for an entire day.

Unfortunately, thanks to the average incompetence at Ubisoft I'm now locked out of 100% achievement completion. They took notice of their DLCs not working anymore, hence why they decided to just purge them from the store. I would have been grateful, had they also decided to purge the corresponding achievements. Only those who have initially purchased that DLC can still acquire those achievements through a simple workaround. I however am locked out. Ubisoft, even if you fix this, I won't purge this review. However, I might purchase your upcoming and last AC game that you will ever make.

Edit: A friend was gracious enough to provide a solution for the Lost Archive DLC. After sitting through that torture, I wish I could downvote that DLC into oblivion as well. Just what were these developers smoking when making this ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ 'expansion'? It's basically Portal for the mentally challenged. Ubisoft, my previous offer is off the table. You had your chance. Because of your insolence, this will be the last year for your company. I almost shed a tear but then I remember all the misery you put your customers through. Good riddance, don't crawl back.