Recent reviews by Gum Jobs R Us 2024

platform for people who get told "you must be fun at parties" by people who spend their weekends drinking in VRChat

you can tell a game is likely to be good if all your trans lobotomite warmachine friends give glowing reviews and this is no exception

every frame a breakcore album cover

Gamers have been downright starved of something like this for years now. It feels like it's been decades since we've had a good mutliplayer co-op game. One with a live service element that's used to its fullest potential and creates a lasting narrative instead of being used as an excuse to guilt users into playing the game.

the ultrakill of wario land

the EAC update finally added the feature i've been waiting ages for: an excuse not to play

audio/visual design & gameplay are actual CRACK for people who like shooters where you go fast
the mediocre story is easy to look past and way overblown

vibes are alright, as expected from grasshopper, but there are other games that do character action better, and there are other games that do hitting on babes better

Not worth $60, which is good, because it doesn't cost that much.

There's a lot of potential here, and I hope the dev team iterates on this formula in the future. Combat, most of the time, feels pretty good. Between getting new shells, new weapons, and new seal infusions, as well as new abilities for the former, the amount of times I went "YOOOO that's RAD" justified the (low!) price. The hardening mechanic is a very neat twist on the formula, and allows for a good amount of personal expression in how you fight. The art direction is pretty neat. I think the familiarity system is cool, and I've wanted something like it in these games for a while; it's just a shame that the game is too short to get maxed familiarity on any but the most basic healing items.

But, of course, like most other reviewers, I take issue with the level design. And it's not even the level design of most of the game! It's just such a shame that Fallgrim and Fallgrim Outskirts (Eternal Narthex too) are so poorly laid out that it'll throw new players off the game. I get that exploration is part and parcel of the souls/-like genre, but "labyrinthine woods" is usually somewhere between 30%-50% into the game's progress route, not the first area you go to after the tutorial.

I recommend everyone give it a try, but warn that the game doesn't really start clicking until after the 2-hour mark.

This would be my favorite Souslike if it didn't have the Dark Souls branding. Unfortunately, it does, which means it's my least favorite Dark Souls game.

Can't recommend this as-is. Optimization is terrible, and the actual mission content is all solo, despite the marketing material leading up to release explicitly showing cooperative play. On-foot activities with friends are possible with jank (e.g. taking a settlement massacre mission together, after hoping that the same one pops up for each of you). Interface bugs are present throughout, and the new UI takes some getting used to.

I've had more luck doing missions with friends in Star Citizen, and for less money too.