Today I attempted to insert a whole baby melon into my anus because the local shops had run out of apricots (I buy a lot). Using about a gallon of butter, breathing techniques and a few hours I managed to finally get it inside. However it was too uncomfortable so I tried to ♥♥♥♥ it back out. This is where things got confusing because rather than a melon sliding out, half a dozen apricots did. Now there is a chance that I just blacked out upon excreting the baby melon and it rolled away somewhere. Maybe I happened to have a dozen or so left over apricots lying around my rectum from earlier but I cannot for the life of me find the melon anywhere. I think I may have the power to anally turn melons into apricots. Further experimentation will be required of course (once my rectum has recovered) but if this turns out to be true then I may be able to solve world hunger.