An old lady distracted me and snatched the last sourdough loaf at Krogers. I blind tossed a cantaloupe over 2 aisles, took her out, and reclaimed my loaf.

I rolled a D20 to figure out how many times I should wipe. I think it was wrong though because I've got a hell of an itch back there right now.

Exploding bag of ham coming straight to your door!

I bake a loaf of bread and it became sentient. It's begun amassing an army of ants to do the macarena. Send help!

Please stop asking me if I want to go to the casino, then when I come to pick you up saying "we are already here, at the CLAM CASINO". I love clams as much as the next guy but it's too much.

If you having biscuit problems I feel bad for you son!

Cuz I froze 99 Cheddar Bay Biscuits before Red Lobster went bankrupt. HIT ME!