Please stop asking me if I want to go to the casino, then when I come to pick you up saying "we are already here, at the CLAM CASINO". I love clams as much as the next guy but it's too much.

If you having biscuit problems I feel bad for you son!

Cuz I froze 99 Cheddar Bay Biscuits before Red Lobster went bankrupt. HIT ME!

A seagull flew off with my bag of flaming hot cheetos. It lives in the Home Depot and flaming hot dumped all over the plumbing section.

I lost my boomerang, but they said it will come back to me.

If you use some of the garlic please don't let the dog see it. He is addicted to garlic bread.

My hot dog slipped out of the bun on the bus and rolled down the entire aisle. Some toddler ate it.