bunger

I saw exactly 1.09441 square inches of a girl's shoulder today.

What followed was a torrential downpour of every single sperm cell I ever have or ever will produce, shot out so hard that my ♥♥♥♥ was ripped apart by my übernut accelerating to 5% the speed of light by the time it left my urethra. It vaporized the girl as it punched right through her, barely slowed, before cutting through a structural support beam in the school as if it were a nuclear-powered angle grinder. The sheer weight of this historical nut, combined with the total destruction of everything in its path, caused the school to collapse, and every female in the state of Illinois to fall pregnant with my children. When the final death toll was tallied, there were 146 deaths, 458 injuries, and over 4 million pregnancies. As I lay dying under the rubble of my high school, I rest easy, knowing every one of my sons will repeat my glorious actions. Goodbye.

♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥

It's gonna suck not having you around anymore. I hope you have an atleast decent school year, and make sure you make the best with what you got. I know how it feels to have to start all over again. I've had to do that 4 times just within the first 12 years of my life. I'm gonna miss you alot, and in the 8th and 9th grade, I felt as if you were a better friend to me than Kaelen. Best of luck man. Hopefully we'll see each other again some time.

ripperoni, my memeroni

Why we can't have nice things^