Jitterty's POSTAL 2 Achievement Progress

R. Kelly's Protege

Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.

Unlocked 2 Nov, 2021 @ 2:58am

Duck Dynasty

Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.

Unlocked 2 Nov, 2021 @ 2:39am

Here, Wilfred

Gained your first dog helper.

Unlocked 3 Nov, 2021 @ 11:59pm

Chapelle's Show

Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.

Unlocked 5 Nov, 2021 @ 3:11am

Taxidermy with Chuck Testa

Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.

Unlocked 4 Nov, 2021 @ 6:17am

Michonne ain't got nothin' on me

Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.

Unlocked 14 Dec, 2021 @ 5:46am

Someone's got a case of the Mondays!

Survived Monday.

Unlocked 2 Nov, 2021 @ 3:24am

C U Next Tuesday

Survived Tuesday.

Unlocked 3 Nov, 2021 @ 12:41am

OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!

Survived Wednesday.

Unlocked 4 Nov, 2021 @ 1:07am

It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays

Survived Thursday.

Unlocked 4 Nov, 2021 @ 6:05am

Workin' for the Weekend

Survived Friday.

Unlocked 5 Nov, 2021 @ 3:59am

Screw Bill Lumbergh!

Survived Saturday.

Unlocked 5 Nov, 2021 @ 6:37am

I swear, I thought it was a home fill

Exploded a nuclear bomb.

Unlocked 30 Nov, 2021 @ 10:35pm

OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale

Roasted 30 people with fire.

Unlocked 13 Dec, 2021 @ 10:53pm

Darth Maul'd!

Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.

Unlocked 4 Nov, 2021 @ 12:57am

I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace

Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.

Unlocked 4 Nov, 2021 @ 12:44am

Do you even Enzyte, bro?

Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.

Unlocked 2 Nov, 2021 @ 3:35am

Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!

Killed over 1,000 people.

Unlocked 5 Nov, 2021 @ 7:00am

And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree

Killed all of the book protestors in the library.

Unlocked 2 Nov, 2021 @ 3:31am

Lieberman is our Leader!

Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.

Unlocked 2 Nov, 2021 @ 3:19am

Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.

Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.

Unlocked 4 Nov, 2021 @ 5:18am

Can't Touch This

Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.

Unlocked 30 Nov, 2021 @ 8:50pm

GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!

Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.

Unlocked 4 Nov, 2021 @ 6:03am

Anustart!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.

Unlocked 3 Dec, 2021 @ 6:51am

It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog

Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.

Unlocked 4 Nov, 2021 @ 12:48am

Where's Mr. McGibblets?

Gave Krotchy the bad touch.

Unlocked 4 Nov, 2021 @ 6:03am

Finkle IS Einhorn!

Gave a kickoff to a severed head.

Unlocked 4 Nov, 2021 @ 6:04am

Shiva Blast

"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.

Unlocked 13 Dec, 2021 @ 11:58pm

I should buy a boat

Read the newspaper every day.

Unlocked 3 Dec, 2021 @ 6:10am

Friend of Dorothy

Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.

Unlocked 2 Nov, 2021 @ 3:06am

Officer McLovin'

Asked a police officer to sign your petition.

Unlocked 30 Nov, 2021 @ 11:13pm

Well, aren't YOU a badass

Kicked open a door.

Unlocked 30 Nov, 2021 @ 11:04pm

I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you

Put out someone that's on fire.

Unlocked 5 Nov, 2021 @ 3:43am

It's sterile and I like the taste

Sucked down your own piss.

Unlocked 2 Nov, 2021 @ 2:11am

FAB-U-LOUS!

Wore all three outfits.

Unlocked 4 Nov, 2021 @ 12:26am

Door Mat

Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.

Unlocked 14 Dec, 2021 @ 10:28pm

Thanks for the money!

Finished all seven days.

Unlocked 30 Nov, 2021 @ 10:38pm

GABAGOOOOOL!

Reunited with an old friend.

Unlocked 12 Dec, 2021 @ 7:38am

Holocaust: Part Deux

Reunited with an old enemy.

Unlocked 13 Dec, 2021 @ 11:04pm

Rain on your Wedding Day

Reunited with an old flame.

Unlocked 14 Dec, 2021 @ 12:19am

Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad

Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.

Unlocked 14 Dec, 2021 @ 6:18am

Better than POSTAL III

Rescued your loyal companion.

Unlocked 15 Dec, 2021 @ 3:06am

Ape Gape

Escaped the Animal Control Center with all monkeys alive.

Unlocked 12 Dec, 2021 @ 7:25am

Ginger Mint

Killed Zack Ward.

Unlocked 13 Dec, 2021 @ 11:37pm

Ladies Love Cake

Defeated your hateful ex-wife with delicious cake.

Unlocked 14 Dec, 2021 @ 12:17am

Cesar Millan is Very Happy

Mauled 30 people with your dog.

14 / 30

Rebecca Black's Nightmare

Totaled 30 cars.

10 / 30

Hello, Newman

Kicked 30 dogs.

1 / 30

Reddit would be proud.

Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.

Pussy on a Pedestal

Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.

0 / 10

Uncle T-Bag

Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.

Running With Scissors

Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.

12 / 30

Fear and Loathing

Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.

Señor Cornballer

Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.

19 / 30

Rick Grimes 4 Life

Made 30 zombies lose their heads.

28 / 30

40 Year Old Virgin

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

CAN YOU DIG IT?!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)

Planet of the Apes: The Musical

Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.

Scientology Level: OT VIII

Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.

Fur Sure!

Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.

Anger Management With Roger Clemens

Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.

Don't taze me, bro!

Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.

2 / 20

I Am Legend

Committed suicide... the Taliban way.

Paid the Piper

Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.

It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway

Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.

I don't need virgins for this

Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.

A-Rod Who?

Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.

Chuck Norris'd!

Killed someone with a flying jump kick.

One time, at band camp...

Saved the marching band from explody death.

My Name is Jesus

Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.

Harder than r/gonewild

Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.

Adderall4All

Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

Rich on Reddit

Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.

9 / 30

BioShocked

Spent $2000 on vending machines.

1,685 / 5,000

Gettin DP'd

Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.

11 / 30