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I had just made him a tuna and peanut butter sandwich (his favorite!) when I walked in on him m*sturbating to a picture of some twink elf! Now, normally I wouldn't mind this, "Let he who hasn't fantasized about making sweet, sweet love to a twink elf cast the first stone" and all that, but now I'm finding out this character is actually from some S@tanic video g@me called Balding Gates 3???