To say Conan saved my life is an understatement. Im only 11 hours in and im writing a review for this amazing game. For the first hour of playing i thought it was a dumb game made as a small cash grab with no additional features, but by the second hour i started feeling the happiest i had ever felt in my life. The third hour came with great news, i turned the tv on and i had won the 50 Million dollar superdraw, Conan blessed me from the heavens and gave me a chance at redemption, everything in this life did not matter anymore, all that mattered was being good for Conan. The fourth hour came with a letter from my great great great grandfathers best friends niece, she had a truffle farm and wanted to give it to me for free, Conan you ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ i said as i accepted my new life as a farmer. Five hours i got a call from the doctors office, my tumour in the left side of the brain had been cured and my appendix had grown back showing the last results. At this point i brought all 245 people on my friends list Conan and told them how life changing it is. Hours 7 and 8 came with many riches appearing all around me, i got up for a drink and all my cups were filled with diamonds and rubies. Hour 9 i got a call from the Bolivian senate, i had inherited the Country and they invited me to their royal pig farm. Hour 10 i went to go piss and it was yellow instead of red, for the first time in months. Finally, Hour 11, i get up to write this review and as i write it Conan has blessed me with 20 extra fingers to type extra fast, i love Conan, Conan loves you.



6/10, decent game

I received this game in the mail on the 6th of December, 1998 from my good friend Jeremy. We were having a splendid time in the courtyard drinking tea when he mentioned this, to quote, "dumbass game about a stupid pig with a dumb nose and a dumb haircut that jumps around and eats acorns even though pigs do not eat acorns and he is dumb and stupid and I hate him so much." Instantly I asked him if I could play and he said that "sure this piece of ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ trash I hate so much that it made me kill my wife and three children in a horrific car accident that I had orchestrated is all yours, ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥, I hate you and your $20 ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ haircut." So I loaded up the game on my trusty Nintendo 64 and then I got into the game and oh boy, it was so ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥. I wanted to kill myself instantly, I contemplated it. Still, then I decided I better complete the rest of the game before I do it to make sure that I really have seen hell, that I have experienced what all humans fear, the eternity of flames and the brimstone against my cold hard skull cleaving my face off and making blood gush from my eyes and making me wish that I could finally not exist and return to the void that once came from and once shall return to that same void with piggy poggy pog. Near the end, I saw the final point, the last door to an outhouse I had to go through, then, finally free of this hell, I saw everything flash before my eyes, my life, my childhood, my parents, my sweet Rosella, my three kids Jeremy, Albert and Jeremy Jr. I hated them, I was consumed by the death and destruction of war, of this game, my mind corroded beyond any human form. Finally, I am free from your mortal concerns, I must kill, I must drink their blood. It is the only way that I can sustain myself, I must feed. The pig has taught me that all I need in life is bloodlust and a goal, and my goal is to cause havoc and destroy the Republic of France and take over the world. It is 4:21 am now and I am in the process of burning down my large estate as an insurance scheme so I can afford my new atomic bombs. Thank you Piggy Poggy Pog, you destroyed everything I had and freed me from humanity.

9/10, no Ben Shaprio voice acting.