please make hadvar marriable ^^

nevermind i used a calm spell on him and now he is functioning like he's supposed to

for some odd reason he attacks me every time i try to talk to him even though im a stormcloak and won the war

Will he be a follower before the wars end

So glad I can finally marry this hunk ;D

where can i find him?

Hello again! Do you know how to remove Ralof's helm? I've tried getting him to follow me then going into his inventory to remove it, but its not there, plus the inv consol command dosent work, nor does the no guard helmets mod (which says it works for ralof).

Glad it's finally worked out! My help wasn't that helpful as you still had to use a new save... Each game is different, maybe something just glitched in the one broken save that normally would work. Or could be adopting children before marriage. Blast, during the testing I never adopted children before marriage, that well might change it all... Anyway got me to try out some house mods, it was fun :)

All fixed in this new save! I finished civil war, married ralof (there was some bugs getting the ceremony to start, but that's just skyrim), moved him to my hjaalmarch house, adopted the kids and moved them to the hjallmarch house, moved everyone to moonstone castle, and everything worked. I didn't marry ulfric this time and adopted after the marrige so maybe that was one of the issues. Either way, everything is working now. Thanks for all your help!

When I divorced ulfric, it had your dialogue (I remember laughing at it (hey bad news we're divorcing :) )) I also hadn't married anyone else before on that person so I don't think it's a dead spouse. I'll uninstall the marrige mod and see how that goes. I'm also working on past save of this person and I'll try marrying ralof first, then mess with the kids and moving, to see if it ends up different.

(part 5) Sorry, there are grammar mistakes in my posts, I see them but Steam doesn't allow to edit comments so I'll just leave them as is. Hope it's clear what I'm saying anyway.

(part 4) So. I suspect that you were married to someone who had died before the one you got divorced, and that dead person is still counts as your spouse by some quest or some script. That's why you see Ulfric and Ralof going away from your house, and nobody in their place - because that one first spouse is dead and can't hang around your house being angry and not offering any dialogues.

Is it right? If it is, I'l try to figure out how to get rid of that ghostly spouse, probably with console commands. Reinstallation of the Marriage Mod or the Multiple Adoptions mod will probably help, but I'm not sure how safe it would be for the game to reinstall them.

(part 3) When divorcing with the Marriage Mod's option I got a very interesting situation. Ulfric continued to live in Moonstone Castle even after I married Ralof. More so, Ralof came to the gates, Ulfric was already there, then Ulfric entered the Castle and Ralof turned back and wend in an unknown direction (forgot to check where exactly as I was bewildered by Ulfric's insolence). I haven't seen Ralof any more at that testing session, Ulfric refused to talk to me, was mad because of the divorce, but he lived in the Moonstone Castle alright, even slept in our bed, and then moved into Windhelm's house when I told one of the kids to move to Windhelm.

(part 2) Now. I've tested both options and surprisingly my option worked better: when I divorced Ulfric with my option and married Ralof then Ralof moved in to Moonstone Castle without problems. The issues then were that after the divorce Ulfric stayed hanging around in Moonstone Castle until I married Ralof and efficiently Ralof kicked him out of PHX_CustomHouseManager's CustomHouseSpouse alias of Multiple Adoptions mod. And the second one was that he and the kids were could live in different houses (say, Ralof lives in Moonstone Castle and the kids live in Windhelm's house), and to gather them in one place I needed to tell Ralof to live there and then to tell the kids to live there too.

(part 1) Pretty sure it's because of Marriage Mod. My divorce method from Ulfric's mod works only on Ulfric, if another NPC has a line about a divorce it's from some other mod. Ralof has his own divorce line from his own mod (this one), Brynjolf and Karliah have their own divorce lines from their mods, but those lines show up only for them, not for other NPCs. Why I'm going into so much detail - because Marriage Mod has it's divorce line wich works on all. And when I marry Ulfric, throw the Bond of Matrimony out of my inventory and talk to him, there are 2 divorce options:

"I want a Divorce" from Marriage Mod - To Have & To Hold
"Bad news. I want a divorce" from Obedient Ulfric

God I forgot. I used the ulfric mod on the same save and used your divorce method. I'm also using to have and to hold. Sorry for all the information I keep forgetting to mention.

Please note there is a warning on the Hearthfire Multiple Adoptions' page about known incompatibilites, it says: "HF Marriage Adapter: prevents the Custom home dialogue to work". You never mentioned HF Marriage Adapter, but you did mention the wedding clothes, and Marriage Mod (which the Adapter is for) adds wedding clothes and allows to divorce. So after all it might be a known incompatibility.

The plot thickens. How exactly did you divorce? There's no divorce in the base game, and I haven't noticed a divorce feature in Hearthfire Multiple Adoption, so it must be another mod or console commands. The details you gave are really important.

here's some more detail; I adopted and moved the three kids into the custom house during a different marrige, then divorced and married ralof. Ralof can move to my vanilla house in windhelm but I still don't have the option to move to the custom house (Moonstone Castle I think from the nexus). Would any of these things have an infulence?

And I've downloaded the Steam version of Hearthfire Multiple Adoptions, changed load order and adopted a child before the marriage, and it all still worked. I don't know now what's wrong, I can't reproduce the issue.

Alright, so I've downloaded Hearthfire Multiple Adoptions mod and Mammor Manor as a custom house, and they worked fine with Ralof and Ulfric. I've told them to live there right after the wedding, and then they appeared in the new house. Probably you're using something else that causes conflicts? I've tested the Nexus version of Hearthfire Multiple Adoptions. And I barely have other mods.

Thanks for getting back with me! For this purpose, I'm using the bless home spell from hearthfire multiple adoptions. It's supposed to give me an option under the moving dialogue, but it dosen't show up. It works with the kids though.

This is different, as Ralof's staying in the inn has no priority at all, he will stay there if he has nothing else to do. Could you please tell which mods you're using for the custom house and for a spouse moving in there? It would be much easier to tell what's going on, so far it was speculation. This mod for Ralof does very little to his behaviour, and in the game Ralof is much less restrained than Ulfric, I tend to thinnk the problem lies with the mod for living in a custom house.

Hello again! I'm having the same problem I did with the ulfric mod. I married him and asked him to go to my house, but he just stays in the riverwood inn in his marrige clothes. Is it the same problem, the problem with his staying in the inn being a higher priority than going to the house, or something different?

uh, whenever I go to the riverwood inn, I press E to talk to him but nothing happens. It doesn't give me the option to talk to him or do anything. help?

@ileth, may I add my voice to the wish for Hadvar?
Thank you for all that great work.

I am browsing through your mods and I am impressed!
I especially like the "be free of Nocturnal" option. A much needed idea!

Thanks, I will try it again :)

Well, if you have tryed everything already, what else can I suggest? Make sure the mod is downloaded and checked to load in the launcher. Anyway, Ralof can be made marriable with console commands only, you don't need any mod for it.
prid "0002bf9e"
addfac 00019809 1
addfac 0005c84d 1
setRelationshipRank player 1

Please help me :( I have the same problem as kidnap...no option for marriage....I spoke to Maramal...I finished Civil war...I tried every cheat you wrote here....I've read all comments with problems and your answers and tried it but nothing helps...can you help me ? :( thx

Great mod! Hey, Do you think you could make a mod for me to marry Alvor, and live in his house? (just a request)

Well he was alwasy second choice to me, but your right, he is not bad. :D

Not a bad workaround of Ralof's absence :D

Thank you for the quik answer. I will keep it in mind. But my character already, thanks to you, married Ulfric xD

He might be disabled. Try to enable him and then teleport to you:
"0002bf9e".enable
"0002bf9e".moveto player

I finished the Civil War, but Ralof is not at the Inn. Moreover, the cheat to summon him, does not work.

Normally it takes up to 3 days for a spouse to come to your house, but sometimes they disappear. If he isn't there after 3 days, you can teleport him to you:
"0002bf9e".moveto player

Okay, problem solved: I never spoke to Maramal before so I just couldn't marry.
But there's another thing: after the wedding we decided to live in my house in Whiterun, but he doesn't appear there, he's not in Breezehome neither in Riverwood. :C

His relationship rank might be insufficient. Try this:
"0002bf9e".setRelationshipRank player 1

When he says "An amulet of Mara? You're not married? Surprising." there's no option for marrying him, just "I'd like you to accompany me sometimes" and "I'm not interested in you".
Help pls what's happening :C

Author, thank you very much for help with Hadvar! He is silence, but this better than other mods with those ugly voices

Ah, Ok! Thank you... I'll look into that, then. :)

I just tested it too, and looked at "My Home is Your Home" in the CreationKit. Surprisngly there are direct restrictions for the "My Home is Your Home" dialogues - they will not appear for a good number of NPC, including Ralof. I don't know how to circumvent it, the dialogue literally checks that the NPC can't be Ralof. Rather confused actually... Maybe the author of "My Home is Your Home" wanted to avoid using his mod with characters who temporary become your followers during some quests (like Ralof, Hadvar, Esbern, Mercer Frey... - they all are excluded from that mod). So, I think the only way to make these two mods work is to change "My Home is Your Home" by removing those restrictions.

I absolutely adore this mod; however, I've run into one problem: I use the "My Home is Your Home" mod, and it seems that he doesn't have the initial "Let's talk about home..." command when I'm in my house (tested with both Breezehome and a custom home).
Is there some way to make the two mods work?

NICE!!! Ralof is one of my favorite male characters!

ah. i didn't know about geting rid of the ring. thank you. this will be helpful in my other games :D

If you have no Bond of Matrimony in your inventory, and he is not your current follower, there should be an option in his dialogues "Bad news, I want a divorce".

theres one problem, you cant divorce him

Thank you :D

rated and collection added =)

dang. i live in an inn. yay.