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Firstly the objective is to make a description short enough for a tiny window and comprehensive at the same time. It must present the unit and its characteristics, pros/cons or special abilities. On the second hand, it should sound good, not to be just dry explanation about what it is.
A hunger "for souls" sounds strange and a little bit obvious, cos of ability name - "soul stealer". I agree, that "lifeforce" doesn't sound much better, but still...
"of the rising of Chaos" sounds clunky and, err, too concretized i guess ? I mean, its warhammer, we already know what chaos is, so it can be shortened a bit. "Chaos rising" (or uprising) is short and exhaustive, much better if you ask me. A capital letter for "C" makes sense tho, but not sure if it is a good reason to force everyone to re-download the mod for that. Its not such an issue, who's ever read this ? x)