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Thing

To use this Thing properly you must understand that it is a delicate machine that requires much attention now look closely, you must and I mean MUST press 1 to go left, now I understand this is a lot of information but just take a moment to remember it all, press 2 to go right oh sorry, to fast? I'll slow down for you don't worry what do you want to talk about? explosive pancakes, maybe deadly muffins, oh you're ready now we were just going to have a great conversation though... well fine to go backwards press 3, now get out of my sight we were gonna have a pleasent conversation but no, get out of here.