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BOOZESORT

by: mr_puzzel

This computation puzzle was designed for the week 8 of Zachtronics / Coincidence Discord server's 2025 Opus Magnum Weeklies.
See results stream for this puzzle

Refer to the puzzle's event page[events.critelli.technology]for the computation rules.

REAGENTS
Booze (Variable)
Stabilized Fire x2
Stabilized Water

PRODUCT
Sorted Booze (Variable)

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Pre-solve lore:
... As a consequence, nearly anything can be chosen as the third essence for ternary-based computation systems, and so the information alchemist is now able to choose safer, almost-mundane materials for the computation substrate[4].

For example, ternary systems utilizing Air typically use lamplight gas as their computation substrate. Not only is this a commonly-available fuel, but the material is easily piped into the computation engine using the same plumbing that brightens the halls of the Houses.

Of course, the most popular choice for ternary systems is Water, as famously demonstrated in Melker Påhlson's (rather hectic) symposium presentation on the Teuling thesis. The primary advantage of Water ternary systems is economical - most alcohols can function as the computation substrate, and alcohol (like lamplight gas) already has well-established infrastructure for both production and distribution.

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[4] It is interesting to note that the oldest-known calculating devices from over two-thousand years ago (see "Secrets of the Flidais Site" by K. Durrigan) operated by redirecting liquid-water through stone channels, and so performed their computations via the subtle manipulation of primal matter. In this sense, some argue that the arrival of cardinal-based ternary systems is a return to form.

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Post-solve lore:
...and the worst part *hic* the WOOORSHT part about all dis "computation" is, is, is the Houshes are alllllll RUSHIN' to get their hands on it, sho they're buying up *burp* buying all the trashmulation engines and all the gin, the GIN, and they're not even gonna drink it, the bashtards! no sir, inna machine it goesh, so it can shpend allll day doin some calcurlation or other that even a little *hic* that even a NOVICE accountant could finish inna minute, and then *belch* and then because they didn't spec it right, it gets it wrong anyway, and so the accountant's got no job, the House ish shipping ore to some vapor-den in the downriver, and *burp* and I'M shtuck payin' top-guilder for shtuff tha's weaker 'n piss