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Glitch NPC's Anon Speaketh Shakespearean

Oh nay! T appears yond an anomalous, galaxy-spanning energy waft has't in some way flash the brains of all the Glitch! What art we going to doth anon?!
Wait... Thee sayeth t hath seemed to haven't done aught? Oh well, nev'rmind then...

Half a year, and a dram of sanity, anon, I've finally did finish t.
All Glitch NPC dialogue in the Vanilla game is anon did machine convert to Shakespearean tongue, as the Makers intend'd.

Scan descriptions f'r objects aren't did plan, because f'r one these filthy, free-thinking outcasts and rogues refuse to speaketh the valorous Glitchspearean language. And f'r two, considering the sheer amount of furniture mods out thither, t'd simply beest pointless to doth coequal just f'r Vanilla, coequal if 't be true I did want to.

Did translate using Lingojam,[lingojam.com]with some behoveful interpretations madeth by yours truly.
If 't be true thee encounter'd any grammar issues 'r bugs, prithee report those to me as apace as possible.

Enjoy