Alrighty, first things first... if you find yourself asking this question, then you've already lost the plot. Elden Ring is, get this, open world! If you ever have trouble fighting a boss or group of enemies blocking your path, then simply walk away and do something else in another part of the map. THIS DOES NOT MEAN YOU CAN OR SHOULD IGNORE THE GAME as it is the easiest way to grow uninterested/frustrated. Want to improve? Take your time by learning how to avoid attacks! Want to use a weapon? Then the next question should provide all the info you need!


No. Do not play the game like this. Contrary to popular belief among the metaslaves & their subsequent bootlickers, you don't have to beat the game as fast or efficiently as possible. Look up a guide for Elden Ring. I'm not kidding. What's the first thing you see? Probably something along the lines of a flashy, retina-singing thumbnail with impact font telling you how utterly broken a weapon/build is. To make a long story short, builds that rely on status effects suck massive donkey balls in the early-game because you do not have the leeway to juggle several different damaging stats, nor do you have the stamina to consistently attack and keep those invisible status gauges climbing. This is but one example of why you should never heed the advice of overly-enthusiastic narrators - brook anybody who tries to answer this question no quarter.


This is a much better question to be asking, dear Tarnished. 'Jolly Cooperation' is a great thing! Provided you don't abuse it... to make yet another long tale digestible: DON'T RELY ON OTHER PEOPLE TO PLAY THE GAME FOR YOU. Watching a man whoop Margaret Thatcher the Fell's ass in mere seconds is funny the first time, I will admit, but being a spectator for the entire game? How is it enjoyable to any measure?? The only way to get better and more competent is to thug out the game by yourself for a bit. I'm not suggesting you beat the game 'RL1 no summons no armor no fun', but the best advice a veteran can give to the future generation of Elden Wrong gamers is to try. Give it your best shot, and if you don't succeed, then you will have the time to try it again sometime later.

In the wise words of over twenty consecutive youtubers... for the love of the Greater Will, level Vigor! Health is the MOST IMPORTANT THING FOR YOU TO HAVE EARLY ON. Don't worry about not dealing a lot of damage, what matters is that Margaret Thatcher over there doesn't turn your head into a fine red mist in one attack. TL;DR level Vigor first, then Endurance, then everything else that applies to the weapons and affinities you plan on using for the majority of your playthrough once you hit around 40 Vig & 24 End; Endurance, while it gives you more stamina for more damage/rolling potential - and hopefully not just monkey-mashing via molestation of your attack inputs - is also useful for improving your equip load; it's a shame I have to bring up inventory management, because you actually would not believe the amount of specimens who stuff their entire inventory full of weapons as if they'll ever soft-swap to them, and just deal with the fat-rolling like no other option exists. For peace of mind, only carry the weapons you actually use in your first slots, and hard-swap (switching the weapon in that hand slot) should you need a shield or dagger or whatever.


Make sure to (almost) always dodge into the attack rather than away from it, as you will most likely end up in the enemy's blind spot, where the hitbox - also known colloquially as the 'Magic Cylinder' - doesn't clip into you at the same moment your invulnerability ends. For PvP, it is often better to dodge to the side/away from the Bad Red Man who wants to gut you like a fish as human beings are weird like that; jokes aside, it's a lot of trial & error and training your eyes to focus on the majority of your screen rather than tunnel-visioning the center of it.


TREAT INVADERS WITH RESPECT, DAMMIT! Have the common courtesy to recognize that they are more than PvE fodder getting in your way - what you are fighting is an unpredictable human opponent who gets eight seconds of invulnerability, so don't go hoping for a free kill, we've had spawn protection for two years now; while it is very funny to watch scaredy-cats jump off a cliff or give up the moment their friends die, it's a waste of time for everybody involved when you could've at least tried to fight the scawy invader without a babysitter. Don't worry, I'm not calling you - the viewer - a mentally handicapped casul without probable reason of suspicion. Just... please don't be another in the rank-and-file army of Kevins who refuse to learn how to play the game they bought. There's a weapon attached to that Ash of War, for your information.

> Only heal when necessary; you'd think people would learn how to effectively lick their wounds outside of combat, and right out of the gate, but I've witnessed coop-ers having the gall to heal right in my face or with their back turned because of muscle-memory button mashing - while applicable for PvE, this is priceless information with PvP. You cannot tank invaders by chugging your sippy cup, this is how you waste your flasks & die.

> Elemental damage is very useful; try going for Lightning or Fire affinity, depending on whether your dumpstat is Dexterity or Strength respectively. If you can spare a couple levels or are already a 5head scroll-sniffer, give Cold affinity a try; Heavy/Keen/Quality whetblade is in Limgrave, Magic/Cold whetblade is in Liurnia, Fire/Flame Art whetblade is in Caelid, Lightning/Holy whetblade is in Leyndell, Poison/Blood/Occult whetblade is in Limgrave after defeating Caelid's sharbearer.

> Don't hold up your shield or guard with your weapon unless absolutely necessary; In practice, any enemy worth their salt can & will slam down upon you with the force of a thousand suns, instantly breaking your posture under normal circumstances. In PvP, an invader can easily kick it out of your hands for a free riposte (it's easy, and it does a lot of damage). Guarding slows down your stamina regen as well, taking significantly longer to fill up the green juice that could've been spent not dying.

> Don't molest one button in combat; in one of the more recent updates, uncharged heavy attacks got a speed boost almost across the board. This does not mean, however, that you should lobotomize yourself into using exclusively these attacks - this also applies to your L2 Sticks and spells, as spamming is objectively the most boring way to play this game. Ask me how I know...

> Don't stop levelling Vigor until it hits 60; 60 Vigor is the hard-cap, or the peak of the chart before diminishing returns, where levelling further provides little comparative benefit. By the time you reach the land of piss-coloured everything, you should be most of the way there after a fair bit of side-tracking, if not already working on improving your damage stats - or Endurance, but not past 40 unless you're a laggard who's built like a walking boulder (average American child since pre-COVID).

> You can't play Elden Ring without that Elden Bling; throughout your journey, across the fog, into the Lands Between, and become Elden Lor- (cough) - 'scuse me. Throughout your journey across these wretched lands, you'll have picked up quite the goody-bag's worth of armor - the true end-game is not being the most optimized lard-ass with the most annoying defensive values possible, no... the real end-game is looking fashionable. Make up lore for your characters, build around that overarching theme with weaponry and gear befitting your twisted imagination. Roleplay in your Role-Playing Game, god forbid.

> Don't always stick to one strategy with your weapon; one-handing a weapon, unless it is a great/colossal weapon (with exceptions), will cause your light attacks to bounce off when attempting to hit enemies that are rock-hard like the proverbial magnum dong, have a decent shield, or players with any shield medium & above in size - two-handing alleviates this problem but, of course, prevents the use of whatever was in your off-hand at the time. Again, the reason why I specify these seemingly brain-dead tidbits is because I've seen people first-hand who make every single one of these mistakes.

In general, don't rely on others to make up for your inexperience - nothing ruins a game like tarnishing your first-ever experience with it, be it cheating like a loser, hiring an infinite number of babysitters, running from your problems the moment you're met with a challenge, or listening to metaslaves blabber about their obnoxious "builds." Was this guide helpful to you? To be frank, I couldn't care less. I'm an internet funny-man who spends way too much time on Fromsoft games and this was made with the intent of teaching the newer generations of Tarnished how not to be really quite bad at the game.

A casul complains of their losses, a wise newbie uses them as learning experiences.