Because goats are great. Goats can be either a yellow-y colour, or.....oh wait, that's it. What?!?!?

Maybe you like Goat Simulator? I dunno. Goats are great. That's why. Also, if you milk them, you get Goat Milk, which you can turn into Goat cheese, which can be placed in a Cask, and aged. Aged Goat Cheese is one of the best foods in Stardew Valley, it boost both your health and energy immensely, plus it sells for a LOT of money! Even more than regular Milk! Pretty good reason, if you ask me. Goat Simulator thing is still valid though.



= VERY GOOD!!!!


Plus their baa-ing noises are very nice. Wait, that's not right. Do they go "baa" or do they bleat? I don't know. One of the two. Bottom line: THEIR NOISES ARE NICE!!!!!

Anything you like. You could give it a really normal (and, let's face it, boring) name, like Steve or John. Or, you could give it a really ironic or otherwise funny name, like I Just Want Ur Cheese, or Meat. OR you could give it a really awesome name (reccomended), like Lekki-Whizz or Jountain. OR OR you could give it a name that may or may not be after the guy depicted below. Just sayin.






I called mine Jens. You know. Jens.

Well, just like with cows, first you'll need a Milk Pail from Marnie. It's possible to obtain multiple Milk Pails, and they're sold for 1000. Once you've got yourself a little one of those beauties, ya simply walk up to ya goat and........click the right mouse button! Or whatever button you've assigned to be that "use item" button. Or, if you're playing with just your keyboard (not recommended overall), C. Once you've done that, congrats! You've acquired some Goat Milk! Yuck/Yum!

Depending on your relationship with your goat, you will either have a Small or Large Goat Milk. The quality and size and change depending on which one you get. Pictured to the left is Large Goat Milk, but there's also our lovely Small Goat Milk, for those of us who'd prefer an alternative with less lactose (and less Milk altogether). Now, in my previous Guide, I stated that the Small Milk looks for bottle-y. This isn't entirely true for Goat Milk. It doesn't look like a bottle as such. Nope. It just looks like a baby bottle. You know, the ones they drink out of.


Told you. Actually, come to think of it, the other one looks more like a jug than a bottle. Huh.

Anyway, You can milk your Goat at any time in the day, even when they're trying to sleep (which does make sense), BUT, they only produce Goat Milk every second day, instead of every day (that's Cows, remember?). You can start to milk Goats as soon as they've grown up, which is.....hang on.....5 days. Jeez, that's young. Ah well.

Well, I'd recommend shipping it. Pretty good money. If that's not your cup of tea milk, then.....I dunno, why're ya asking me? I just explain how to milk animals! I don't know about any of that other stuff!!! Do I? I DUNNO! Keep some for the Mines, turn some into Cheese if you have a Cellar, your choice! I don't care! I mean, if you do ship it, bear in mind the fact that you only get so many of those Small Goat Milks before your Goat grows closer to you and starts producing better Milk, so be sure to ship at least one before you stop getting them! But anyway? I DON'T KNOW AND/OR CARE!!!!!!!!!

Ahh, Goats. Awesome in their own right, alongside Cows. Have you ever milked a real goat? I have. Not. And now you will have milked a goat. Just in Stardew Valley, With the help of this very useful Guide. Wasn't it? Yeah, it was pretty great. Anyway, now you know all this useful info, quit reading this and go play Stardew Valley. Milk a Goat. Buy a Goat! There's a good idea! Then? Do cool stuff with the Milk! Yadda yadda yadda. Etc, etc, etc. Blah blah blah blah. Stuff and Nonsense (ooh, great song).
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Doo dee doo doo doo dee....
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Um.








WHY ARE YOU STILL READING THIS?


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Well, if you're still here, thanks for reading the whole of this Guide. If you enjoyed it, or found it useful, Awards or even just a thumbs-up is appreciated!

Though the purpose of this Guide, the epic sequel to HOW TO MILK COWS!!!, was to be funny, most information is still accurate. It is simply presented in a way that triggers the release of those feel-good chemicals in your brain, like dopamine, endorphins, serotonin and oxytocin—basically, what makes us laugh.

If you'd like to read my other Guide, either visit my profile, or click below.
https://gtm.steamproxy.vip/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=3350602954



AAAAND I also mentioned Goat Simulator ealier on so if u hant heard of that where the hell have u been but this is a link to check it out bro:

https://store.steampowered.com/app/1762930/Goat_Simulator_Remastered/?curator_clanid=5691966