The last guide was a resounding success (only 1 hate comment), so I'm making another one. In the third instalment of the series, we'll be bullying people based on their weapon of choice.

Remember, if your favourite weapon ends up getting a bad stereotype, then that means I'm personally attacking and insulting you directly, and you should leave a comment about how I'm a salty noob who's bad at L4D2 and I should stay mad.

The Pump Shotgun is so common and widespread that it's hard to pin down a single stereotype for it. Maybe the guy using it wants to run a shotgun, but hates the Chrome. Maybe they're a fan of classic zombie media where pump shotguns are always used. It's really impossible to say for certain what a Pump Shotgun user is going to be like.

Most people would agree that the Chrome shotgun looks and sounds kind of ugly. Therefore, if you see someone using it, there's a 99% chance they're also using a mod to change at least one, if not both of those aspects of it.

It's widely known that the Uzi is basically the same as the Silenced SMG, except that it has a lower DPS. What this means is that anybody who uses the Uzi does so because they can appreciate that it's fun to kill zombies with a cool looking gun. They don't care about what anybody else thinks, or how effective they're being, they just want to enjoy the game.

A rushers bread and butter. If you see someone grab the Silenced SMG as fast as they possibly can, you just know they're going to run off ahead and leave you for dead. They know full well that it's the strongest T1 weapon, and they're probably overconfident enough in their abilities that they think they can solo the entire campaign. Coincidentally, these guys also rage quit the fastest when they get pinned.

Both the Tactical and Combat shotguns are almost identical in terms of functionality; this means that which one you choose largely comes down to its appearance, which is what determines the stereotype for each of them. In the case of the Tactical Shotgun, it's favoured by CS fans, as well as people who prefer L4D1 to L4D2 (yet they play 2 anyway because 1 is basically dead.)

As for the Combat shotgun, it's preferred by those who like L4D2 more than L4D1, as well as Half Life fans. There's also sometimes a slight playstyle difference between players who use the Tactical and Combat shotguns. Combat shotgun users are more aggressive; they'll take more damage, but get a lot more kills. It's the opposite for Tactical shotgun users, who play a bit more defensively and don't get as many kills, but they rarely go down.

If you use this, you know full well that the Mil Sniper is basically a direct upgrade, but you're confident enough in your team and yourself to not need the extra 15 rounds in the clip. Hunting Rifle users tend to be a lot more relaxed and genuinely skilled than Mil Sniper users; IE, they don't just have good aim, but also good situational awareness, and they make good decisions that actually help out the team.

The safest, most basic ♥♥♥♥♥ weapon in the entire game. There's no two ways about it: this thing is overpowered. Powerful at every range, high damage, infinite penetration, plenty of ammo and a massive clip size. Everyone who uses the Mil Sniper claims that they're a god at the game, on account of them being able to beat every campaign with ease. What they won't admit is that their success largely comes from them using the most overpowered weapons possible. If you use the Mil Sniper, at all, even on expert or versus, then I have no respect for you.

Similarly to the Uzi, the M16 is considered to be much worse than its competitor, the AK47. As such, you can be sure that anybody using the M16 doesn't care about the meta and just wants to have fun shooting zombies. They also probably used to play L4D1 a lot, and they use the M16 for nostalgia reasons.

The bedrock from which every tryhard is chiselled. Much like the Military Sniper, the AK is incredibly strong. As such, most of what applies to the Mil Sniper also applies to the AK, with the added bonus of it being fully automatic and more powerful at close range, so the people who use it tend to rush ahead on their own thinking they'll be unstoppable.

Spoiler Alert: They're not

People who use this are just weird. They're the kind of players who join a normal difficulty lobby halfway through the third chapter, pick up the Desert Rifle, heal a teammate on 65 hp, then leave when a Tank spawns. I don't know why they do what they do, but these players always seem to be using the Desert Rifle so that's what the stereotype is.

If you're ever wondering why your health always seems to be falling back below 40, this guy's the answer. For the most part, Grenade Launcher users have pretty terrible aim and awareness. Every shot they fire is going to cause at least a few points of damage to everyone else on the team, even themselves. They're also likely to burn through all the ammo long before a Tank or crescendo event shows up, where they'll then be forced to fight with nothing but a pistol.

A lot of P220 users are L4D1 players who use mods to turn them into M1911s. I don't really blame them, they look a lot cooler that way. Outside of that, the P220 seems to be favoured by new players, probably because they haven't worked out how to pick up other weapons yet.

This is a favourite for newer players, who see that it's a big machine gun and assume that it's probably pretty powerful. They're not exactly wrong, but they also likely haven't learnt that its got limited ammo yet. Similarly to Grenade Launcher users, they'll tend to run out before they can actually make good use of it, but they won't have nearly as many friendly fire incidents. They also refuse to use their secondary weapon under any circumstances.

From what I've seen, there's 2 main stereotypes for the Magnum. Which stereotype you fit into will depend on whether you think you're good at the game, or are actually good at the game.

If you think you're good at the game, you'll be using the Magnum and playing very aggressively, probably running ahead of your team a lot and getting pinned multiple times per chapter. You likely also get quite annoyed when anybody makes note of this in chat.

If you're actually good at the game, then you'll use the Magnum much more defensively. Chances are you'll never fire a shot without crouching first, and you use it to pick off specials at a distance (rather than just using the sniper rifle you're undoubtedly carrying).

Fire Axe users fulfil a very niche stereotype that you'll occasionally see in versus mode: players who are annoyingly competent, but not so good that you feel the need to call them out for it or switch servers. They're the kind of players who you always seem close to taking down yet you can never quite finish them off. For the most part, they're just a pain to play against, especially since they almost never say anything in chat so it feels more like you're competing with an advanced bot rather than a person.

Baseball Bat users seem to be pretty chill. They don't take the game too seriously, but they're also fairly skilled and will always be there to help you out. Considering how popular bats are in zombie media, this person likely also plays a lot of other zombie games, and probably uses baseball bats in them too.

The Cricket Bat is overshadowed by the Baseball Bat in basically every way, so you'll rarely see anybody use it. If they do, then they're likely from a country like Australia, India or England where Cricket is popular, and feel obliged to use it out of patriotism.

You like Half Life, and use the Crowbar because it makes you feel like Gordon Freeman. You probably also break every crate you come across, and use either the Combat Shotgun or MP5 as a primary. Much to the annoyance of your teammates, there's also a chance you decide to not say anything in chat or use any voicelines (it wouldn't be an authentic roleplay otherwise).

This guy plays TF2, and uses the Frying Pan on every class that can equip it. They're probably also not taking the game very seriously, and they'll continuously throw themselves into certain death situations just to hit things with the pan and listen to the sound effect. Lastly, there's a 90% chance they'll have the most friendly fire damage out of anybody on the team. The reason for this is because they get bored in the safe room and have to resort to hitting their teammates to hear the pan sound effect.

I have never seen anybody willingly use this over another melee weapon. It's ugly as sin and not satisfying to use. If you leave a comment saying you use it, you're lying.

Most Guitar fans are also fans of rock or heavy metal music. They're also probably a bit disappointed that the Guitars sound effects are a little bit lacklustre compared to what they were imagining, yet they use it anyway out of spite.

Favoured by tryhards and rushers alike, the Katana is as powerful as it is popular. Just like the other meta weapons, Katana users tend to think pretty highly of themselves. If you ask why they're using it, they'll cite its fast swing speed and optimal swing pattern, as well as its ability to cut Smoker tongues (even though this has probably only been relevant once in their last 100 hours of gameplay). If they have an anime or edgy profile picture, they're likely also using a mod that makes it look ridiculous and over the top, like covering it in bright green fire or a custom first person animation to have it held above the shoulder pointing downwards.

The Machete sits in a bit of a weird spot. In terms of its stats, its one of the better melees, but it lacks the flashiness of weapons like the Katana. If you see another survivor using the Machete, they're probably a bit of a tryhard, but they're the sort you'll be glad to have on your team. Like if you're pinned and only a few seconds away from dying, this guy will come out of nowhere to save you, and then rush off again before you've even had a chance to say thanks.

If you use the Nightstick, you probably play on The Parish a lot. You also probably defend the Nightstick constantly despite other people telling you it sucks. And you know what? Good for you. Keep defending it, and keep using it.

I've only ever seen one person use this seriously, and that was because pitchforks are stereotypically used in Witch hunts. So I guess if you use the pitchfork, you're probably either a Witch, or obsessed with Witch related media, or both.

To be honest, I've never seen anybody else who actually prefers to use the Shovel. I've seen some people pick it up occasionally, but they always replace it with something else as soon as they can. However, the Shovel just so happens to be my favourite melee weapon. I use it because I like the idea of using an ordinary household item as a weapon to kill zombies with. Things like Katanas and Fire Axes might look cooler, but the Shovel just has a certain simplistic beauty to it. Of course, I then throw that simplicity out the window by removing its texture files.

Now is a fantastic time to point out that I am incredibly biased, and I love the chainsaw. It's very fun to use, moreso than any other weapon, and if you see someone using it then you can be sure that they're the kind of person to prioritise their enjoyment of the game over all else. They won't care how much friendly fire damage they're dealing, or how many times they get incapped; they just want to rip apart some zombies.

The MP5 is a bit of a niche weapon. It's not as powerful as the Silenced SMG, but it doesn't look or sound as cool as the Uzi. This makes it hard for me to make up a stereotype for it, since the two main groups of players I've been relying on this whole time are now ruled out. Thankfully, I can still label MP5 users as CS fans. So that's what I'll do. If you use the MP5, you're a CS fan.

A lot of people avoid the SG552 because it doesn't look all that great, and there's a lot of negative stigma around it. If you actually bother to use it though, you'll realise that it's pretty much just the M16 but better at range. If you come across an SG552 user, you can be sure that they're not afraid of trying new things and stepping away from the pack.

AWP users fall into one of 3 categories. They're either messing around, a clueless new player, or a CS fan. In the case of the first 2, they'll hardly be scoring any kills, and more often than not they'll either be votekicked or pressured into changing weapons. As for the CS fans, they'll try their hardest to prove that the AWP can be viable. Surprisingly, they'll usually not perform too badly with it, though you can't help but wonder what they'd be able to pull off if they were using something like the Hunting Rifle.

This is just the AWP, but smaller and uglier. I've never seen anybody use it seriously, or even try to justify it. If you want to mess around, just use the AWP. At least it sounds cool.

The stereotype for the Knife depends on when you started using it. If you used it before it got updated to have a horizontal swing, then that probably means you're a CS fan, and you used it alongside other weapons that feature in CS like the AWP, AK, etc. Chances are you were also using a mod to make it look like the knife you own in CS.

If you only started using the Knife after it got buffed, then that means you're just a meta slave, plain and simple. You would've never even thought about picking it up before, but now that it's the best melee in the game you just HAVE to use it.

If you love the minigun, you probably love L4D1 as well, and use the minigun that's in almost every finale. You were probably also really disappointed when you tried the mounted guns in L4D2 and found out they're god awful in every way.