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Simple Cannon

I own a musket for home defence, since that's what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. "What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbours dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended.

TALLY YER LADS *cannon boom*

indeed

This is hot

After getting shot with a retail Glock 19 by the CIA operative, Danger has entered the afterlife... IN HELL.

how are you still alive?

I have thought that we were in court. Could you please use your Hyper Super Mega Munitions Teleportation System to send us there?

*opens fire with service weapon*

you are resisting arrest, comply or there will be consequences.

FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT