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MIRACLE MALLET

The Miracle Mallet, an item of legend, as depicted in Touhou 14: Double Dealing Character. Allows the user to change the size of things and people at will, but at high and unpredictable cost. (Technically only usable by kobito/inchlings in this interpretation, but it wouldn't be any fun if it did nothing for you, now would it?)

Please consult a miko or experienced tomb raider before using any unstable magical artifacts. Use responsibly. Side effects include high tsukumogami breeding rates, extreme and unpredictable bouts of anger and violence from previously docile persons, blunt force head trauma, lightheadedness, power madness, bad fanfiction ideas, gullibility, and an abrupt and overpowering urge to date a musical instrument.