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1) Last Breath/Blood Slave should be placed right after 'Demon Devoured'.
I would also add to your description exactly when you get the 'Last Breath' achievement.
You get it by progressing main story all the way until the scene where Xiao Zan is attacked by wolves. You have to fully watch this scene without skipping as it seems like skipping this scene entirely might cause achievement not to be given.
By far the most annoying achievement since even rushing the story - it still takes like half an hour of running around to get it and then a replay of a pretty annoying boss too.
But it's indeed the best order to do it as you mention.
2) Green Tung should be placed immediately after the Last Breath/Blood Slave - you get it very close after that point in the story.
1) Pick Beiluo - get nothing in the end once the story happens, a different scene however.
2) Pick Cub - get achievement during same story and yet again scene is different.
I think for people going for completion, they'd be doing every quest anyway, so getting 20 different pact creatures is *pretty much* a non-issue lol
Yes! That's a good point about the cards. Now that I think back on it, probably one of the most involved completions I've done. They sure don't make it easy. Thanks for your comment, I hope it can help other people
1) Demon Devour section should be put after agile body/unexpected joy. This is the correct order place for it.
You should also add the fact for people not to panic upon 'not getting it' - presuming you picked the cub you will get the achievement as part of future main story progression.
2) Regarding pact creatures - those are 'infinite' as in you can get as many as you want via exploration, albeit quite rare. So shouldn't pose a problem at all.
3) Regarding card collection - I would add the fact that card NPCs aren't all instantly present.
The moments when you can get them all if you don't want to search them one by one/memorize which ones you have done are:
Yanling city - quite certain it's the moment you unlock the world map travel.
Yangping - after Yanling demon invasion in act 3