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If it ain't broke, don't need to fix it, and this one certainly still ain't broke.
Bro musta made this out of old Nintendium.
At this point it ain't luck that it's so future proofed, boy you musta done some dark ritual or something. How many pawns did you return to their families healthy?
How in the hell did you future proof this thing so well?
I shall find out ...