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The Rump Motel

Grab your ol’ lady, and if you don’t have one, grab a woman from the bar, or grab one off the street. It doesn’t matter, you can grab ‘em anywhere. And bring ‘em on down to the Rump Motel for an hour of good times, believe me!

The Rump Motor Hotel was born of the dream of struggling businessman Harry Rump. Harry was saddled with debt and bankruptcy when he met his wife, Russian heiress Iwanna Rump. Built in the great days of America, when the women were kept at home, “the blacks” were kept separate, and the gays were kept in the closet, honey! The Rump motel was one of the nation’s first motels. The structure was to be built sparing no majesty and opulence. In it’s original incarnation, The Rump was painted all white; because all white is all right, right…? The original design plans even had a white hood…er, roof, but plans were later changed.

But the motel was never the cash cow Rump envisioned and it’s failure led to the eventual divorce from Iwanna. At this point the motel’s clientele mostly included criminals, drug dealers, and rapists, and some I assume were good people. Following another bankruptcy, the Rump was auctioned off. It was bought and is now controlled by renowned investor Rush N. Crooks. In an effort to restore and rebrand the Rump motel, it was painted a shade of peach to attract more families and children. A new mascot was also created at the time: I.M. PEACH (named in honor of famed architect I.M. Pei. The restoration and grand-reopening was at first met with great fanfare and IM PEACH was said to be the “new Mickey Mouse” by the New York Times. The motel even partnered with Wrigley to create it’s own flavor of chewing gum: IMPEACH Mint.

But most of the nostalgia soon went away and guests realized that the motel wasn’t great again. It was all a marketing scheme of telling people what they wanted to hear, but it was still just a s#*@! motel on the inside. And besides, the mascot was just f#@!ing creepy and scared children. Drifters and the homeless once again started to flock to the Rump which was now surrounded by strip malls and fast food joints. In an infamous dispute with neighboring Taco Bell over parking spaces, the new owners built a wall around the parking lot, and Taco Bell paid for it! Despite the history of hard financial times and branding failures, the Rump Motel stays afloat today by embracing it’s base of deplorables with cheap rooms, stained mattresses, and hourly rates.

Triangles: 2331
Texture: 1024 x 512 d,n,I,s,a
Custom LOD and textures
Level 1 high density residential
45 uneducated cims with RICO mod

FAQ:
Q: Why bring politics into a game? Can't we just have our safe space?
A: There is absolutely nothing political to see here. Just an asset and story about a struggling fictional motel. Leave the snowflakes in Snowfall and don't read too deeply into things.

Q: Why is there no Hillary Jail asset or Obama Mosque, because you know...?
A: Same reason there's no Sears (insert building name here), because nobody has made one.