cool dude

It’s Christmas Eve ❄️🎄. Snow falls 💦 gently 🌨 on the yard 🍃outside. 🌲 A fire 🔥 crackles behind 😬 you. It’s been 😵 a rough 👊🏻 month. Your wife 🤷‍♀️left you and ✋ the present 🎁 pile under the 😤 tree 🌲 is bare. 🐻 It doesn’t 💯 matter 💦 though, 😭 there was only one☝🏿 present 🎁 you wanted ❄️ anyway. And as the sky 🌌 darkens and 👄 the fire 🔥 wanes you 😩 know 😁 it won’t ✋ happen. 🙂 There’s no 😱 way the one thing 👊🏻 that could 🙏 keep ❄️ you 😳 hanging 🐈 on will happen. 👋🏻 It’s almost 👅 Christmas, 🎄 he’s not coming.

It's Christmas ❄️❄️❄️ Eve! Santa 🎅🎅 Claus shoves his thick 🤤hands 🤲🤲🤲 into his raindeer🦌 skin🔪 gloves 🧤🧤🧤 and places down ⬇⬇ his TIGHT😵 ♥♥♥♥🍆 🐓 ring 💍💍 around➰ his ♥♥♥♥😘 🍆 and balls 🏀🏀 before pounding😤 away🦌😵 at that reindeer😍 ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥ 💩 santa 🎅 you're 👉 going to fast ⚡ and Rudolph is 🤪 disorientated😷 slow 🐌🐌 down ⬇⬇ ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ 😳🖕 hell 😂we're gonna crash🤪 ♥♥♥♥ 💩 Santa 😓🎅🎅🎅 Claus' 😂MASSIVE🥵 ♥♥♥♥😂 🐓 swipes🌊 through the city🤣 🌃 killing millions 😆of children😘 👨‍👩‍👧‍👦

Gorlax! It is I, Snorlax! You killed my father. You ♥♥♥♥♥♥ my wife. Now, you pay!!!!

+based

oh I get it you're American