im in a constant motion of downfall.i'm scared of talking to someone.Life is hard as i know it and it hurts knowing i have someone waiting for me to succeed but i cant take myself or no-one serious and play and joke around way too much or do stupid ♥♥♥♥ without thinking about the consequences but if your reading this im struggling mentally and im scared that everyone that i care about will go away and i have to bare the memories of them.The last thing that made me feel special was "I miss you" and it hurts knowing all my life was 100% hatred,physical and metal abuse,neglect,blackmail,and pain constant pain.This summary doesn't have to be real and i wish it wasn't true but the past years have just been so humiliating.Never accomplished anything worthy of being proud of and i let people use my feelings to get there way.Deep down i know im an emotion wreck that cant be fixed and wont be fixed due to the fact no one can tolerate my actions or my presence and i know its true and nothing will change it.I dont feel like a person but like a Martian.Its just misery and agony and its just a tragedy