growing up i was suggested to try a female character in Dungeons and Dragons by a late female friend. this was the most fun i had ever had in one of the games but at the time i was still oblivious to things that were obvious to others (the cause of bullying for most of my time in primary and secondary schools), and grew up trying to fit in with the boys after her passing.

Around the age of puberty i started to notice that i had no interest in having $£X with the girls or boys around me and struggled to understand why one person was more attractive than another. this lead me to the AVEN (asexual visibility and education network) and the larger LGBTQIA+ community. this is where i discovered that i was a bi-romantic Asexual but i was still trying to fit in with the boys my age was leading to me focusing on school work and video games (Pokemon) to hide my depression (caused by the bullying) from my 2 friends and my family.

about a year before the end of my education at secondary school i had a serious falling out with one of my friends after he broke up with my other friend (i took her side) i received a serious awakening when he told me that "i was just like the girls in our class" and "your a gamer why cant you understand why i was 2 hours late" this more than anything else made me start asking questions of those women and trans women i had met on the AVEN forum's.

8 years later i was now able to proudly declare on line even if i couldn't work up the courage to come out to everyone IRL that i was a Bi-Romantic Asexual Trans Girl, i was now engaged to the only friend i had upon leaving school. she is one of the few IRL people who knew about me.

And then i got HRT and discovered how much of a TERF she really was. This lead me to join a load of trans support groups and i wound up coming out to everyone IRL with the support of some new friends. Then a year later i started an ill fated relationship with the new friend i was closest to she was the love of my life.

i was in a relationship with Zynemorixia (Izzy Winters) up till her suicide on 1st may 2023 and i still miss her every single day.

During the end of 2023 a started a relationship with Onēsan Occultis and her husband, which lead to a culmination of a breakup with her but not her husband who i am still in a relationship with. The cause of the breakup was lack of support from her on the anniversary of Izzy's death (even though she has been through the same and knows how bad it is) and her direct triggering of abandonment issues which i have. After which we tried to be friends and looked like it was working for a few days till she suddenly disappeared triggering the abandonment issues again. This lead to another partner of mine making the conscious decision to make me hers permanently with a collar. Though we still love Onēsan Occultis and wish her the best, we know she is better off without someone as broken as us.