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报告翻译问题
If you are a beautiful strong black woman, someone will put this in your comments.
╚═══════════════════ ೋღ☃ღೋ ════════════════════╝
:*
CHAPTER 4 COMING WHEN I GAIN THE ABILITY TO SUMMON UP MORE GARBAGE
A massive space ship landed on a large patch of flat land outside my school. I, with my almost infinite knowledge of the star wars universe that I gained studying the force, instantly recognized it as a BTL-S8 K-wing Assault Starfighter. A jedi slowly and methodically steps out of the ship. It seemed as if the entire world had gone silent, except for the wind. His stare penetrated my very soul, and I felt inclined to approach him. All eyes were on me as I nervously shuffled towards him. His voice echoed across the pain,
"childe, you have come far in the force without a master. I have been sent to retrieve you and take you to the Jedi Academy on Coruscant."
(rest of chapter 3 coming in another message, gay character limit is 1000)
My evil bully, Trent, shoved me up against my locker. His giant hand coiled around my throat like a python. He said,
"give me my lunch money or else!"
and I said,
"you're on thin ice pal. You don't wanna see my inner demons!"
He choke slammed me to the floor, but at the same time, I blasted him away with my newfound powers. Everyone looked at me with a mixture of surprise, horror, and respect. Suddenly, they also started clapping! I had defeated Trent! They paraded me away on their shoulders, the principal declared a day off to celebrate the occasion, and my waifu kissed me on the cheek. I had never felt such a great feeling. But then, the unexplainable occured....
Once when i was a kid I used the force on my pillow. I kid you not. For years I tried replicating it, but I just couldn't get the thing to move. One day after school, I decided to get to work and recreate every variable exactly how it was, so that the scenario was exactly the same. That night I knelt in front of my pillow and lifted with all of my intellectual might. Suddenly, the pillow floated into the air, as if gravity didn't exist. Not only the pillow, but my bed and everything else in my room. I immediately got freaked out and everything crashed to the ground. Explaining the mess to my parents was rough. On the morning after my incident, I went to school as if everything was normal. Then, it all turned upside down....