Do yourself a favour and steer clear of this dog turd of a game. I’m reviewing this because I was forced at gunpoint to play this for 60 minutes and I don’t want anyone getting the wrong idea and picking this up based on my playtime.

+ that feeling of relief when you exit out of the game. Playing Zombie Golf is nothing short of torture. That exit game option made me feel all warm and tingly.

+ this is someone’s work. Look. I couldn’t even make this and someone did. So they are already a more qualified programmer than me and I applaud the effort it must take to learn a skill like coding. Also it’s a free market and you can decide to put something out for nothing or to charge for it. If this game was free and it was someone’s first attempt and making a game and they wanted to test it out on Steam then I wouldn’t be here. But it costs money and it says it’s in EA and it hasn’t been updated in a year. This game is going nowhere.

- golfing surgeon simulator. The controls are so bad for this game its laughable. But its not funny in a Surgeon Sim or Ampu-tea way. The angle on the ball makes no sense, you can hit it at the same angle and same power 3 times in a row and it will go in 3 different directions. The cursor will go off the screen making it impossible to aim and generally you are just in for a bad time all round trying to take these balls.

- sound. There is virtually no noise in this game. A zombie will groan if you hit it. A red barrel will go boom if you hit it. The ball bounces and makes a tapping sound. But other than the terrible title screen music, the game has pretty much been audibly sterilized.

- lack of levels. It might be a little bit more worth it if there were more levels and perhaps a level selector if by some miracle you found a level you enjoyed playing but as it stands there are only 4 levels and they all suck.

- general boredom and frustration. There is not a single thing redeeming about this game. At least if there were some cards or some cheevos for say, landing a ball in the back of a pickup truck. Or hitting the ball into 2 zombies, you know….like some sort of challenge? The only challenge is to not gnaw your own fingers off in despair while playing this.

Take a mulligan on this game back to before you even hit the play button. There is nothing to see here. I can’t even say this game is rough round the edges and could be saved with some work. It would require a full overhaul and I just don’t see that happening.

Do yourself a favour and steer clear of this dog turd of a game. I’m reviewing this because I was forced at gunpoint to play this for 60 minutes and I don’t want anyone getting the wrong idea and picking this up based on my playtime. [h1] PROS [/h1] [list]+ that feeling of relief when you exit out of the game. Playing Zombie Golf is nothing short of torture. That exit game option made me feel all warm and tingly.[/list] [list]+ this is someone’s work. Look. I couldn’t even make this and someone did. So they are already a more qualified programmer than me and I applaud the effort it must take to learn a skill like coding. Also it’s a free market and you can decide to put something out for nothing or to charge for it. If this game was free and it was someone’s first attempt and making a game and they wanted to test it out on Steam then I wouldn’t be here. But it costs money and it says it’s in EA and it hasn’t been updated in a year. This game is going nowhere.[/list] [h1] CONS [/h1] [list]- golfing surgeon simulator. The controls are so bad for this game its laughable. But its not funny in a Surgeon Sim or Ampu-tea way. The angle on the ball makes no sense, you can hit it at the same angle and same power 3 times in a row and it will go in 3 different directions. The cursor will go off the screen making it impossible to aim and generally you are just in for a bad time all round trying to take these balls.[/list] [list]- sound. There is virtually no noise in this game. A zombie will groan if you hit it. A red barrel will go boom if you hit it. The ball bounces and makes a tapping sound. But other than the terrible title screen music, the game has pretty much been audibly sterilized.[/list] [list]- lack of levels. It might be a little bit more worth it if there were more levels and perhaps a level selector if by some miracle you found a level you enjoyed playing but as it stands there are only 4 levels and they all suck. [/list] [list]- general boredom and frustration. There is not a single thing redeeming about this game. At least if there were some cards or some cheevos for say, landing a ball in the back of a pickup truck. Or hitting the ball into 2 zombies, you know….like some sort of challenge? The only challenge is to not gnaw your own fingers off in despair while playing this.[/list] [h1] THE CONCLUSION [/h1] Take a mulligan on this game back to before you even hit the play button. There is nothing to see here. I can’t even say this game is rough round the edges and could be saved with some work. It would require a full overhaul and I just don’t see that happening.