No, you’re NOT a real gamer.

I’m so sick of all these people that think they’re gamers. No, you’re not. Most of you are not even close to being gamers. I see these people saying “I put well over 100 hours in this game, it’s great!” that’s nothing, most of us can easily put 300+ hours in all our games. I see people who only have a Nintendo Switch and claim to be gamers. Come talk to me when you pick up a PS4 controller then we be friends.

Also DEAR ALL WOMEN: Pokémon is not a real game. Animal Crossing is not a real game. The Sims is not a real game. Mario is not a real game. Stardew valley is not a real game. Mobile games are NOT.REAL.GAMES. put down the baby games and play something that requires challenge and skill for once.

Sincerely, all of the ACTUAL gamers.

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hello! sorry for scare, but just notice profile on the Steam Community. you know how hard it are to find girls who play video game nowadays??? well, Im glad I stumble apon this little prof cause I gotta say.... ur prety cute!! ^ ((sorry for scare, no trouble ) well... I was wondering if u wanted to play tf2 with me (Im a plat sniper, so I can carry my little princes if need. =-}) CUZ I really want someone to pub wit me.. hey hey, maybe even I could get you unusual as little gift. you like Buring? Me too, me too. anyways any, do you maybe have Skype? (no scare. no scare, I iust like meating eye to eye.) if we skype, I think we could have some good buddy commucation. :)) ( i can even turn down my dubstep music in the background if you want...) add me if you want please, I jsit need friend maybe even girlfriend, to play video with.m I can be the perfect guy for you, trust!! ill buy whatever, do whatever, okay?? jsit pick up that phone and CALL. :)

Let's cut to the chase. I'll pay you $50 to step on my balls. You heard me. 50 buckaroos to step on my testicles. The amount of time it would take to step on my balls and then resume to your regular schedule is about 1 second if you are skilled at the job. If you do the math that is a profit equivalent to $3600 an hour. I may or may not offer some wiggle room in the amount that you will be compensated but i can assure you my offer is as generous as they come. Think about what you could do with $50. A lot of people would take that $50 and use it to buy some sort of goods but instead i like to invest that $50 in intangible service, which would be paying someone to step on my balls, hence this conversation. This is a limited time offer and if you don't want to be of service then I will go recruit another ball-stepper. Get back to me ASAP, these balls won't step on themselves.

Jerkin'

We regret to inform you that your Credit Card titled "Dad's Visa" has been declined, any of your latest purchases will not be processed due to suspicous activities. To unlock your card for further use, please confirm your recent purchases and total cost with your local bank.

The listing follows

- 1x Monster Horse Dild0 (12') $89.99
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