Do you like a bidet? No.

Well, look no further! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ekm9q2dvk6k

Not enough persuasion for you? Here is the welfare version! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eZBIHmNIRa0

Ive finally conviced you? No? Maybe? F*ck no?
Well, heated water and toilet seats sounds just awful for your wallet? Try this beauty with your google home! https://www.bestbuy.ca/en-ca/product/wemo-wemo-mini-smart-plug-f7c063fc-f7c063fc/10563416

Bored with your toilet still? Just turn on some Duke Nukem everytime you've had a long day with custom Google home commands for your brand!...new !... Awe f*ck, who cares to try a Bidet anyways!?!!!!