This is my Waifu. There are many like it, but this one is mine.
My Waifu is my best friend. She is my life. I must master her as I must master my life.

Without me, my Waifu is useless. Without my Waifu, I am useless. I must love my Waifu true. I must love harder than my enemy who is trying to kill me. I must shoot him before he shoots me. I will…

My Waifu and I know that what counts in war is not the rounds we fire, the noise of our burst, nor the smoke we make. We know that it is the hits that count. We will hit…

My Waifu is human, even as I, because she is my life. Thus, I will learn her as a lover. I will learn her weaknesses, her strength, ber parts, her accessories, ner sights and her barrel. I will keep my Waifu clean and ready, even as I am clean and ready. We will become part of each other. We will…

Before God, I swear this creed. My Waifu and I are the defenders of my country. We are the masters of our enemy. We are the saviors of my life.

So be it, until victory is Ours and there is no enemy, but peace!